Engaging

updated

2008-01-17T11:44:00.000-05:00

I have disappeared for over a month. Oops! Recap.

I got my cast off! December 4th was such a wonderful day. My poor little leg was so sad looking. No muscles at all. And still no walking.

Had a birthday. It was wonderful. Justin did all the planning and he took me out to eat at DC Coast and then we went to a play at the Kennedy Center. Justin...and the Kennedy Center. I was amazed and ever more amazed that he came up with that all on his own!

And the next day, Justin's parents took us out to Tony and Joe's Sunday brunch. Boy do I love that place. MMMMM, all you can eat fresh seafood. I don't think I have a limit for oysters on the half shell.

We went to my mom's house for Christmas. We went down that Friday night and came back on Christmas day. It was totally the Christmas of parties. Mom had us going to some sort of event every single day. It was sad how much I ate and drank. I got a bit depressed because I wasn't able to work out at all and my clothes really started to get tight.

So when we came back, I got on the bike for the first time and started riding. It hurt like hell, but now I am totally fine. I can bend my knee past 90 degrees. I got rid of the crutches around Christmas. I still am in the metal hinged immobilizer, but that is much better than the cast!

Went up to Baltimore for New Year's. Went to a carnival/circus themed party. It was a blast! I went as a lion tamer and Justin went as a lion. I even got to carry a whip. woohoo! It was fun and affordable, always nice.

Then on the 3rd of January we got some pretty bad news. My sister in law, Becky, who lives in Blacksburg with my brother Will and just had the new baby found out she has advance thyroid cancer. She went into surgery that day and they found a pretty big tumor and the cancer had spread to her lymph nodes. So Justin and I drove down to Blacksburg the next day and spent the weekend at their house babysitting my neice and nephew at night so Will could stay at the hospital with Becky and then we went to the hospital during the day so Will could watch the kids at home. Long Long Long weekend....but they released her from the hospital late that Sunday night. They took out her entire thyroid. Sheesh. and she now has about a 7-inch scar, like a necklace, around her neck to her collarbones. Since then we have found out that she has 2 different types of thyroid cancer, which makes treatment a bit harder. She will take radioactive iodine injections to treat the cancer. She started medication right away but is feeling REALLY tired, especially in the afternoons. And with the radioactive iodine, she has to be by herself for 4-7 days after injections. How boring being stuck by yourself, sick and dealing with cancer! I just don't understand how you can give birth to a healthy baby 3 months ago and the whole time have cancer spreading throughout your body. She has a decent prognosis. It is around 80% survival rate for 10 years. They don't have much data after 10 years. Like my brother said...I don't know about you, but I think 80% sucks. 2 out of 10 die in 10 years...or 1 our of 5. Those aren't that fabulous of statistics.

So we have all been dealing with that. She is pretty optimistic. The immediate problem is that she is the breadwinner for the family. They own their own Vet clinic and she is the vet. So money will be an issue.

My knee-I went back to the doctor last week. It hasn't really healed that great. It is still really loose. He told me I probably will never run again. Frustrating. But he cleared me to get in the pool, so i've been swimming every day since then. Need to lose some of those surgery pounds!

And I think that is about it for the past month and a half.

Nostalgia???

2007-11-30T13:11:00.000-05:00

I don't even know what to write about. I am just kind of confused and feel bizarre. For some unknown reasons I decided to get in touch with this guy that I knew when I was in high school, Matt. I haven't seen or talked to Matt I think in 10 years this New Years. In high school, there were a group of us, both Chatham girls and some guys that went to our brother school--Woodberry Forest that had this I guess 'online community' (back in the mid 90's the Internet was so different...there weren't really communities and this was before AOL instant messenger too I believe) so that we could talk to each other during study hall, at night, etc. We didn't have access to our phone during the day, during study hall or at night. And I think the woodberry boys had only a hall phone, so you had to call and hope to find the person you were looking for. Anyway, we had our own little thing going on online between us that didn't require phone calls and such. We were technologically advance. :)

There were probably about 30 of us max between the 2 schools and there were some random 'normal' kids that were friends of ours from home that we brought in for the same reason...easy of communication and ways to procrastinate.

This was pretty much my 'group' in high school. My social outlet to boys. It also had WAY WAY WAY too much drama. We were Melrose place drama but in high school. Definitely a lot of angry, back stabbing, shameful hookups, etc.

When I talked to Matt yesterday, I talked about how I hadn't talked/seen most everyone in almost 10 years, with the exception of Mari, Andrew and Parker. Through the wonders of Facebook we found quite a few people. And let me be petty: Something that pisses me off is that there are definitely people in there that were not part of our group. They went to college with Matt and must have been pathetic and didn't have any friends and wanted to be part of some 'lame' high school group. So I am still bitter those people are around. I don't care to talk to them and they were the reason I distanced myself from this group....well....one of the reasons.

Then Matt led me to www.archive.org. Holy crap! I found quite a few of my old journal entries, writings, pictures, etc. It was incredible. I couldn't find all of them. I REALLY wish I could find journal entries from 1998. The real drama year and the year I guess I had my first 'real' boyfriend. I would just love to read those. Anyway, I posted up the ones that I found.

Wow was I an angry teenager.

LINK:
Old Journal Writings

Little Plastic Castles

2007-11-28T15:25:00.001-05:00

Work is definitely slow. It almost feels as slow as last week. Bizarre. I guess I should be happy that I am at least out of the house. I have been back at work now for 2 weeks. Part of me almost misses my daily boredom and mid afternoon nap. But my office laid off a few people today, so I am glad I am back in the office proving that I work and I am not dispensable.

Thanksgiving was good. It was weird not being at my own house. That part will take some getting use to. The thing that REALLY bothered me was that no one talked to me about anything other than my knee. For FOUR DAYS STRAIGHT. Some people even reverted to repeating the conversation. I mean, am I that unintelligent or boring that people didn't really want to put forth any effort to have me join in on a conversation. Having Justin's little brother and sister around helped the most. They could careless about the knee. Needless to say....there were some tears on the ride home just because I had gotten so miserable.

We did go look at some houses that Justin's dad is building out in Haymarket. They were gorgeous. We have no idea if we can even dream of affording these, even with a family discount.

I am having a nostalgic day. Typically when I have these, it is of Blacksburg and of grad school. But today is of high school, which NEVER happens to me. There are a lot of people that I was really close to in high school that I haven't talked to years. I just realized that my little high school boyfriend (who is now married with child), I haven't talked to or even seen since 1998. Just seems crazy. Deepdown though, I still feel like a few of these people I still know. I knew them well enough that I cannot fathom their personalities changes so much that they would be any different. I feel like I am the same person pretty much. There are definitely a few people that I would love to get to see.

Okay, I am starving. need to seek out some afternoon snack.

Need to be more Thankful

2007-11-21T13:26:00.001-05:00

Nothing much going on with me. Still in the cast. I have been going into work for the last week. That part is nice to finally get out of the house but being on crutches is really getting to me. I am either miserable because I am unable to go anywhere or I am stuck going some where I don't want to go or I feel like I am forcing people to do things out of the way for me. It really sucks feeling like an inconvenience. I am just getting annoyed that i cannot do anything and I am just stuck sitting some where and I cannot drive or go any where by myself. I miss my personal time!

Hopefully I can keep my head straight over Thanksgiving. I am going to Justin's family. Which is good because I don't do too well in the car but I hope I am not just stuck sitting some where for the next 4 days. I don't want to be bored while everyone else has fun. I know I have plenty to be thankful for and that I shouldn't be complaining about things. But I just wish I had my health right now.

blah.

Misery.

2007-11-14T10:52:00.001-05:00

Update (5:13PM)

Went to the doctor and they put me in a new cast. Apparently my ligament has loosened up a lot. It is already to the point of my normal knee and this knee has been confined to a cast ever since surgery, so it probably will on stretch out more after I get out of the cast. The doctor put me in a cast for another 3 weeks. And after that, if it isn't better, well apparently I am just screwed and will never run, etc. again.

Original message (10:45AM)
I'm miserable. I am so sick of my house and not being normal. It has only been 3 weeks since I had the surgery and it honestly feels like 6 months. I went to the doctor yesterday and they took off the cast only to find out it hadn't healed as much as the doctor would have liked. He wanted to put me back in the cast but I pleaded to just be in a non-hinged immobilizer. Well I got home and I started getting so scared by the immobilizer. I just didn't feel as secure and I really do not want to run any risk that I don't heal perfectly. So I am going back in this afternoon to get the cast put back on.

I didn't sleep at all last night, so I am exhausted. And I am going to go into the office after the doctor's appointment. I just cannot be at home any longer. My work may kill me. And I am just feeling so worthless. I feel guilty what I am doing to Justin. I know coming home for lunch or working from home or not being able to go to Richmond like his work wants must be impacting his career too. I really don't want to be negatively affecting his work too.

Blah. I am just miserable.

Just plain bored.

2007-11-06T11:24:00.001-05:00

I week left in the cast. So bored. I have been watching all of the first season of Ugly Betty. I had never watched this before but it is pretty entertaining. I have been doing work too. I think I may go into my office for a few hours yesterday just for a change of pace.

Last night Missy came and took me out to dinner. We did Thai. It was good and it was SO nice to get out of the house and to have girl talk. This weekend was slow...boring. Just Justin and I sitting around the house. Friday night we did at least go out to dinner with some friends in the district.

Okay, nothing new going on. Heading to Blacksburg on friday. I cannot wait!!!

And need to go vote this evening when Justin gets home!

I would have gotten Maroon and Orange if they had it...

2007-11-01T17:30:00.000-05:00

I finally came off my painkillers completely. Last night was the first time I didn't take any during the night. I am just on a lot of Tylenol. Ugh, this surgery has been SO much worse than last time, but I guess that is just because it was so much more invasive.

I went to the doctor on Tuesday and they took the last cast off and took my stitches out. That luckily hurt MUCH less than last time. Also, I found out that I had 2 new holes/incisions on the left/outside part of my knee. I didn't expect those, but apparently they have to do those to get the screws through and the ligament straight, whatever. Then they put me in a new cast. My doctor attempted to put me into a red and blue cast for Boston or draw a 'B' on my cast. My Yankee side nearly had a heart attach. The cast goes from my ankle up to my thigh. This one is MUCH MUCH worse than the cast last week. That one at least had a little give. This one is so solid. At least i now have a cast people can sign. It is so tough to sit and do anything because my leg just sticks straight out, I can't even fit in Justin's truck. And the bathroom is a whole nother experience.

Tonight Tech plays again. Hopefully it'll go better than last week!!! Some Tech friends are coming over to watch the game and bringing us some food. Our friends and family have been awesome. Some one has come over and brought us food every night since surgery except 1 night, and that night we just had one of the tons of frozen meals that Justin's mom made for us. And tomorrow Jason and Holly are coming down from Baltimore to see us. They were with us the day the whole knee accident occurred, so they get to see this through full circle.

Okay, my house is a mess and people are coming over and I cannot clean up. UGH! This is driving me nuts. But I did get to take my first shower today. It was interesting. 2 plastic bags, 1 lawn leaves plastic bag and a lot of tape later, I am clean! I just wish I could be in there long enough to shave my other leg. It is getting out of control. Gross!

Wishing my husband was home to clean!! And to maybe get me a glass of wine because I deserve it now that i'm off the pain meds.

Life is boring when you are stuck at home all day in a full leg cast.

Ignore poor grammar or spelling errors due to pain meds.

2007-10-27T10:30:00.000-05:00

Today so far has been my best day, but then again it is only 11AM. The last 12 hours have been really good. Yesterday was terrible!! The last few days have been really bad. This surgery has been much worse than last time. Just the pain is so much worse. The pain killers never take it away, just slightly numb it. And then I started getting very sick to my stomach. That went on for awhile. Thursday night was the worst night so far, I had to call Justin in the middle of the night to come take care of me, and then I slept most of Friday away because I felt so badly. Then I started running a temperature of 100.9. If it went up to 101.0 then I would have to go back to the hospital, so then we had to start watching that.

Finally, I got Justin to get me some gatorade and I was taking little sips and finally I started feeling better. I didn't really eat much last night but really felt better. I made it through last night just fine sleeping. Woke up a few times but felt okay. The weird part is that when I wake up in the middle of the night it takes me about 2-3 minutes to figure out where I am....and I am having the STRANGEST dreams. I'll be happy to get off these pills.

And I got to have my hair washed today. and clean sheets! Very exciting day! Hopefully tomorrow will be even better and I'll be able to get up and move around in no time!

Scale of 1-10, I am about an 8. Surgery sucks.

2007-10-25T10:24:00.000-05:00

Surgery was yesterday. It went well. I got home around 8PM last night. I have been pretty nauseous ever since I woke up from surgery. The pain wasn't too bad during the night but it has been pretty insane all day today. I guess that is just the pain killers they gave me through my IV wearing off. The cast is HUGE. and weighs a ton. Both the cool and worst part of the cast is that it has this 1 inch space on the top of my leg all the way down, this is so I can still ice my knee and also so that they can get the stitches out next week. But this means that the fiberglass is covered with gauze, so no signing my cast. Boo! I was looking forward to getting my cast signed.

I'll post pictures if I feel well enough in the next few days. I think i'll be very bedridden through the weekend. Hopefully i'll be able to shower and such by Sunday. Gross! okay. Time for some more painkillers and some diet ginger ale.

Thank god my mother is here to take care of me.

Oh yeah, GO HOKIES!

It Doesn't Feel Much Like Fall

2007-10-19T08:47:00.000-05:00

I quit being able to sleep last night. My stomach has started hurting and the anxiety has set in. Pregnant women start 'nesting' right before the baby is born, cleaning up, getting things ready, etc. Well I have definitely started nesting. Last night I cleaned the entire house, got rid of all the clutter and paperwork. So many bags of trash! Washed all the towels, rugs, sheets, etc. Got out office all organized and things to take to Goodwill. Cleaned out the fridge, etc. Then this morning (finally it was morning, I didn't sleep AT ALL!) I even scrubbed down the shower...with an old toothbrush to make sure it was extra shiny. I am never this OCD, but I can't help it. I just don't feel like I can get prepared enough.

I did go over to the neighbors and take him some wine, cheese and crackers because we owe him a dinner and none of our schedules seem to match right now. We owe him dinner because he cut both out hairs a few weeks ago. He is a professional hairdresser and works at this fabulous salon that I could never afford. So I talked to him for a little bit and he told me that he will come over while I am stuck at home in bed and wash my hair, give me a trim, maybe even some highlights. I am excited. Gives me something to look forward to. Especially having a neighbor that doesn't work a normal 9-5 job, so I know he can come over at random times. He was a nurse prior to becoming a hairdresser and has started working both jobs as of lately, so I also like knowing there is a registered nurse next door. I think outside of my mom, he would be the only other person I would feel comfortable having wash my hair while I am stuck in bed.

Justin comes home tonight though!! I am excited. I am going to make us dinner at home and have a chill, lowkey night, seeing I didn't sleep last night and I know he is exhausted. Tomorrow is wine tasting and going to look at the leaves changing. Sunday and monday, I need to really get things together. Mom comes on Tuesday and then D-Day (or maybe it should be S-DAY) is on Wednesday.

Happy it's Friday! But now I have a 3 hour, all company meeting. And they aren't serving lunch. It is from 11AM-2PM. I'll want to eat my shirt by the time I leave this meeting!

Tis Monday.

2007-10-15T14:34:00.001-05:00

This is my last full week at work for awhile. I feel like I have so much preperation that i need to do. clean the house, do laundry, pay bills, go to the bank, etc. It is a tad bit overwhelming.

And no I have the issue of dealing with getting a dead persons tissues. That part doesn't bother me. What does bother me is that someone had died or will die in the next 10 days and I'll get part of them. Despite never knowing who this person is, their family is/will be sad. It is such an odd concept for me to grasp--that I will get renewed health over someone else dying. Just bizarre. Makes me thankful I've been an organ donor all these years, I would feel pretty hypocritical if I wasn't.

Justin is in Richmond for the week for work, so boring and slow week. Means I can get things done to prepare for the imprisonment. Taking my little sister-in-law out to dinner tonight though (she's a senior in high school) so I am looking forward to that.

Want to catch up on missed sleep.

2007-10-12T15:14:00.000-05:00

My phone died this morning. I'm bummed, which also meant I lost all the stuff in my phone. All my phone numbers I had backed up on my palm, so no big deal. But i'm upset I lost my photos and ring tones. Cheesy I know. And I am very bitter that it took me until I got home to notice I didn't have VZNavigator on there anymore. So I need to figure out how to get this reinstalled, etc. Just will take time and effort that I don't really feel like expending on Verizon.

It is Friday and I've worked my little tushy off this week. The wall was hit about 25 minutes ago and I am just incapable of making logical decisions anymore.

Justin and I are going to pick up a TV for the guest bedroom today. I figured if my mom was nice enough to come stay with me again, the least I could do is finally get a tv for that room after there have been request.

Then I think it'll just be a low key night, movie night. We got Knocked up on DVD, so I'm excited to finally see it!

And I am just getting things ready for my 1 month inprisonment. Target type, new PJs, cleaning the house, switching from Summer to Winter wardrobes, etc.

I need a nap and my knee is KILLING me, so no gym today.

blah......

Need to de-stress.

2007-10-08T19:58:00.000-05:00

I can't write anything because all I am thinking about is my surgery. It is wearing down upon me.

This weekend was a good weekend except for getting no sleep. Friday night, we went and had sushi and then got dessert. That was the end of the night. I started to get a terrible migraine. I woke up Saturday morning feeling like death. We went to a beer fest in Shirlington. Dave and Joe met us there. I felt like ass the whole time, so I didn't really drink much. Then we went to this bar here in Falls Church to watch the game. It was actually a really great place to watch it. It wasn't very crowded, the prices were good and there was real food. I was exhausted after the game. But thank god we looked decent! I went home and all the boys went out. They all straggled into the house throughout the night, so I didn't sleep too well.

Sunday, we went to Leesburg for the day. I went shopping with my sister in law and my mother in law. I got a dress for the wedding this weekend and then a few skirts, seeing I'll be living in skirts for awhile. I also found some really cute nightgowns, which I always thought I'd die before I'd own (anything that may be worn by my mother is not okay with me). We ate dinner out at the Gorman's and headed home.

I cannot stop thinking about all the things I need to do. I sent out a mass email to all my local friends to let them know that Justin and I would love (are desperate) for people to come by for those weeks I am stuck at home. Also I am thinking about a bunch of things I need to get done, ways to plan, clean the house, get tons of chores done...etc.

blah. Trying to not obsess.

Tears.

2007-10-05T10:03:00.001-05:00

I am so mad I can barely focus, much less do any work right now. So I went to do the doctor and I knew it would be a lose-lose visit. Boy, I had no idea what a lose-lose situation really was. ABSOLUTLY NO IDEA. Went to the doctor and he agreed that it had lossened back up and that we would need surgery to fix it. okay, i had accepted that. and he was going to use a cadaver ligament. okay, i can handle that. and that I will be casted up to my thigh for 3 weeks-1 month. OH MY DEAR GOD!

That thought had never crossed my mind. I don't know how I can handle that or any of this. This is INSANE. I am so mad. This means my trip to Austin, cancelled. Football games, well that will be fun. I don't even know if I can fit in a car! And we have Mike Mitchell's wedding 3 days after surgery. I don't know if i'll be able to go. That will be a game time decision.

I am not happy and cannot focus at all right now. The only comfort I get is that A.) I should be all better after this and B.) the cast should be gone by Thanksgiving.

How did one split second injury turn into a year long disaster?!

Homeward Bound!

2007-10-04T08:45:00.001-05:00

I go home today. I am so excited. I went to bed at like 9:30 last night so that today would come sooner. I am leaving here around noon and driving up to Baltimore for a fundraiser event with Jason and Holly. Holly has been organizing this for needy children, so I figured the least I could do was to go show my support. Justin isn't going with me, which I wish he was because I feel like I haven't seen him in ages. I cannot wait for a low key weekend. Saturday Tech plays Clemson so I am sure we will watch that game with all the guys and then Sunday we are going out to his parent's house or out on their boat. We haven't seen them in at least a month.

Sigh. This just hasn't been a fun week at all. I don't feel like I have gotten to relax or enjoy myself at all. Even those little things in life (like watching shameful, brainless MTV reality TV shows) has been unattainable. I cannot wait to get back into a normal routine. To be able to do laundry when I want, not trying to cram as much in as quickly as I can because I'll be leaving again soon. I can unpack my toiletry bag! I just hope I am back at home for awhile and get to get bored with Falls Church.

Doctor's appointment in the morning. It is a lose-lose situation. Either I am stuck with my knee as it is or I am back in surgery. I personally would like to take the short term pain of surgery if it means I can be normal for the rest of my life. Not being able to go swim in the ocean, play golf, being able to run around with my (when I have them) children are all just options I am willing to accept.

Today is not a happy hump day.

2007-10-03T08:05:00.000-05:00

I want to be at home so badly right now. I have no desire to be on travel anymore. I was fine on Monday and yesterday went quickly which was good. Then I laid down to go to bed last night and I just really wanted to be in my own bed with Justin. That carried over to this morning and I just woke up with this overwhelming longing to be at home. I get to head home tomorrow, so that gives me something to look forward to. I do have to drive all the way to Baltimore tomorrow from here to go to a charity event with Jason and Holly. Then home. It will be a long day. But then it is friday, I have a doctor's appointment in the morning. And I am thinking (praying) that Monday is a holiday for my office.

I am just sad/depressed/emotional and want to be at my own house, on my own schedule, eating my own normal food. I am sick of living out of restaurants attempting to select the most healthy thing that I can find on the menu or just giving up and going to subway. And the worst part is that I shouldn't even be here. I haven't gotten my security clearance so I cannot log onto their system, so all I am doing is my own normal work through VPN into my office. So far, there is absolutly no reason that I am NC. Maybe my clearance will come through today...maybe not, maybe this whole week is a waste of my time.

Blah.

Feels like Fall

2007-10-01T15:31:00.000-05:00

Back in Raleigh.

I did have a fabulous weekend though. On Thursday, my brother and his wife had their second child, a little girl. They named her Grace, which I really like. Justin and I decided to leave early on Friday so we could get into town before the hospital quit allowing visitors. She was so teeny! We hung out with them in the hospital for awhile and then left and did a few errands. Then we headed downtown because everyone wanted to meet up at TOTS. Then Allie arrived in town and the evening really began! We had such a great time Friday night. It was Allie and I and then a crew of boys--Justin, Mark, Joe, Dave, Ryan, Scott and Zach. They were wild. I chose to be DD which I am really glad I did. We ended not staying out all that late because of the long day to come.

Saturday we got up too early for my body (7:00 and like 40 degrees). Headed to the tailgate by 9. Justin and I decorated the tailgate with It's a Girl and pink for my brother (he came but obviously Becky and Grace didn't make it). Headed into the game and they had a Stealth bomber fly over. It was insane. Allie was so excited to get to go to her first real football game (she went to Washington and Lee). Then after the game the fun began. We stayed at our tailgate spot until 7 that night. Everyone else cleared out and there were about 2+ cases of beer left and a handle of cheer three olives vodka (yuck) left. So the boys were not allowing that to go to waste, so the field day/beer olympics began. Lots of foot races, relay races and beer chugging later.... (I only got to drink and referree because of the knee) and then the crew of us headed down town. Allie was QUITE intoxicated at this point (she didn't train since she was 18 for days like these) and so we got food and then it was determined that it was time for Allie to head home. So we were home by like 9PM. I was okay with that, I was EXHAUSTED.

Yesterday was lowkey, hung out with the little baby, justin headed home to Falls Church and Mom and I got my rental car. Headed down to Raleigh this morning and have been working at USPS all day. I am only here until Thursday though. woohoo! And this weekend is free. No travel. I am SO excited. I do have a doctor's appointment Friday morning though. My knee is getting worse and quickly. It feels to me about the same as it did before surgery. I am worried. For so many reasons. I know it can't support me (it keeps slipping out) but I am worried my doctor will just say oh well, that's what you get. I am okay if I can never compete again...i can handle that. But just the idea I cannot ever run/jog if I had to upsets me and then the thought that when we have kids that I would never be able to play around with them really bothers me. I am terrified of surgery again but I am even more scared of thinking I could never play/move around like normal again.

What happened to September??!

2007-09-25T21:23:00.000-05:00

I am exhausted. I don't feel like I've had 'me' time in forever. There is always something going on, something to do or some where to be. I am either on travel or trying to cram as much into the little amount of time I have at home. And I just feel I do not have enough money to get ahead. It is driving me nuts because I feel so thrifty!

So the weekend was odd....overwhelming. My pregnant college roommate was suppose to come and spend the weekend with me and we were going to go baby clothes shopping and maternity clothes shopping. I am in Raliegh on Thursday and go out to dinner with my friend, Mari from high school who is getting her Ph. D at Duke. That was a lot of fun and at the end of the night we figured out that she was heading up to DC for the weekend for personal/family reasons, so I offered her a ride. We left NC around 1:30ish and hit the road. My roommate was leaving some time that afternoon and getting into town around 7. I got a phonecall about halfway through the trip, and she was crying and saying she thought she was losing the baby.

Well to make a long drawn out story short, she did lose the baby. It was ABSOLUTLY terrible. I was so upset and crying and felt like my heart was breaking so I can not even begin to imagine what she was going through. It was terrifying. To believe that at out age, people are going through this. It is a reality. And I never really had thought losing a baby was really a reality, just something that happened to other people. So sad. The only thing I can gain from this is that I will handle things differently and probably won't tell people I was pregnant until I am further along into the 2nd trimester. And at least I know that this situation acutally could happen.

On Sunday I drove to Covington to spend the day with her. She was doing okay. Obviously in pain and upset. I was glad to spend time with her and offer any (if any) comfort that I was able to. It was quite a bit of driving and I just crashed when I got home.

And that is how I feel every day is going. I work work work then make dinner then work then crash. I would do anything for one of those days where I can watch brainless tv/movies or read magazines. It would be fabulous.

This weekend is another Blacksburg weekend, but the good thing is that Allie is coming up for the weekend and I cannot wait to see her and get to hang out, without all the wedding details!

Then back to Raleigh again for another week. I have spent this week filling out all the paperwork for security clearance at postal. That has been a headache in it's own, but i won't get into that. All I can say is Screw you Labcorp!

Stay away from dairy and liquor.

2007-09-18T13:25:00.000-05:00

So I am on travel again. Out of the month of September, I have been on travel for 2 full weeks and will be away from home all but 2 weekends. GROWL.

Yesterday I think managed to be one of the worst days I've had in a LONG time. It all started earlier this weekend.

We headed down to Blacksburg on Friday after a TERRIBLE day of work. I finally just went crazy basically, closed all my stuff down and left. It was miserable and I just am so overworked right now that I don't trust my accuracy. Justin and I got on the road and headed for the Burg. It POURED the whole drive down. Finally we got into town around 9, met up at Mom's with Will and we all headed down to Awful Arthurs to meet up with some people because we assumed that it would be empty. Who goes to Awful Arthurs anyway? Luckily, this was a safe assessment and we stayed there with a bunch of people for awhile. When Jason and Holly and their crew got into town we headed over to Rivermill. I think my best decision of the night was being DD. Everyone else was doing carbombs, etc which I was jealous of but I know Saturday morning I was a lot more thankful that I skipped out. So we finally headed home (with Justin and my brother requiring a stop at Wendy's) and went to sleep.

And then the day +2 from hell began. Woke up Saturday morning and headed to the tailgate around 10AM. And was planning on not drinking much. Oh god, I went wrong. Had some beers and some margaritas and didn't eat much at all. And some how came up with the idea to make margaritas on the daiquiri whacker (www.gasblender.com) of simply orange Gatorade and tequila because all mixer had been used up. GROSS. Then went into the game, which VT actually started looking a bit better as the game went on. And drank some bourbon during the game. Then went back to the tailgate after the game, had a beer and then headed to Travis' brother's apartment. Had a beer or two there and found it a bit boring, so headed downtown for much needed food. Went to Sharkey's and then my evening starts getting hazy. I remember 2 white Russians (GROSS!) and I have been reminded of at least one car bomb. Who knows what else was consumed. We sat down to eat food (after at least a 2.5 hour wait) and I failed to eat anything. I don't remember if I went to TOTS or not. Possibly???! No clue. Justin tells me that at around 10:30 I said I needed to go home and Stacey said she needed to leave to. (Justin was DD that night)

Then began the trip home from hell. I took us on the longest way home possible. And there were about 8 stops due to someone getting sick (at this point not me), but then I had my own stop request. We finally got home. And the rest is semi blurry (one broken microwave plate later...)

I woke up Sunday without a terrible headache, I thought I was fine. Nope. I ate breakfast even, but that didn't stay down too well. I was VERY sick all day. Jason, Holly, Stacy and Kevin left around noon. At about 3:30 my mom and I went to this movie in downtown Blacksburg based on forgiveness (based around the community moving on after the shooting), so Justin left and went home (I was leaving straight from Blacksburg to NC for work on Monday morning). Halfway through the movie I managed to recover and then mom and I went to roanoke to rent a car for me and ate food. Finally I was able to hold food down again!

So mom and I went home after dinner, around 8:30PM. I did some work for about 3 hours and we watched the Emmy's, then I went upstairs to pack and go to bed. All of a sudden I heard mom yelling my name. I went downstairs to see what was going on and she is terrified. We go into her bedroom and the large wooden table next to her bed is destroyed along with a lamp and other things everywhere. So obviously the initial reaction is that some has broken in. I checked her jewelery chest right away and everything was in there, but we still cannot figure what is going on. We clean everything up, vacuum and are both just TERRIFIED. I looked around the closets, etc to make sure no one is in the house. Finally we go to sleep in her bed and I don't think either of us slept at all. I slept with my cell phone and I don't think i've been that scared in years.

Finally morning came and we were both alive. We still have no idea what happened in that room. So I left (exhausted) and drove to NC. Got to work, and worked non stop until around 6ish, at which point I was as frustrated with work as I had been on Friday evening and decided I needed to go to the gym. Finally found a gym that had a pool and went in (it was a Gold's). They made me go through a tour, which took forever but finally showed me the pool and said that they always have a dedicated lane for lap swimming. I go change and get into the pool. There is one other person who is lap swimming, so no big deal. There is a class of aerobics going on. So I start swimming and the instructor from the aerobics class starts yelling at me. Apparently no lap swim during aerobics. The other girl swimming with me is yelling back. Finally we decide we are swimming in our lane no matter what. So I start down the lane and a man comes and GRABS me. I was SO MAD. I didn't want a stranger touching me, much less around my waist. So I get out, go get the gym manager, complain. I was then going to leave, but i figured i should go out to my car and get other clothes and go get in on the bike, I needed to get rid of all my anger. Finally I was finished with my workout...a 45 minute workout turned into something more like nearly 2 hours. I left the gym heading to where I am staying and got L-O-S-T LOST! About another hour later, I stopped at some grocery store (praying they'd still have a salad bar out, but obviously not with my luck) and got some little garden boxed salad and got home around 9:30. Oh yes, and my cell phone had died through this whole situation.

Finally I got some sleep. Luckily today has gone much better so far. I am just kindof tired and still VERY busy with work. I need to determine if I am willing to go to the same gym or if I want to find somewhere different today. Blah.

I am ready to be home.

Fall is in the air

2007-09-12T20:56:00.000-05:00

I am so busy at work it is unreal. And I kind of think that this is just how my work life is from now on. I guess it is a good thing....I stay busy so the day flies by and I am flattered that they keep trusting me with more and more. I am going on travel again for all of next week. So that means during the month of September, I will be gone for 3 weekends and I will be on travel for 2 full weeks. Makes me really miss my home, my cat, my husband and making my own dinner!

I went back to the doctor yesterday for my 2 week checkup. I am back in the immobilizer. The ligament is beginning to stretch again. So I already have some looseness that will never go back. Hopefully it won't stretch any futher. Just annoys me because I haven't done anything wrong (aside from standing during the football game) and I feel like I am slowly drifting back to where I was pre-surgery. Just got to keep the good mind set!

I need a haircut so badly it is pathetic. Maybe i'll beg my salon hairstylist neighbor if he'll do some damage control tomorrow. Growing this thing out is hell on earth!

Okay, time for sleep.

Long week

2007-09-10T09:52:00.000-05:00

things for the shooting victims. It was tough to get through that and then immediately throw myself into football. But hearing Enter Sandman was amazing to get to cheer and scream and to be a wild Hokie again.

The game was terrible. We looked awful. My knee was killing me. Standing for that many hours (up since 7AM, tailgating, then 4 hour game) was NOT a good idea. We left with like 3 minutes to go in the game so I could get out of there without being trampled. Then I iced my knee and we stayed at my mom's tailgate for at least 3 hours.

Then the night some how went down hill. We went to justin's parents tailgate and drank there some more and played some games. Then decided we wanted to get some food, so the boys went straight to PK's and Kristen (Justin's little sister) and I walked through campus and to the memorial. That took forever, when we got to dinner everyone was finished. And not happy. So the night just took a poor, intoxicated turn. We just went home after that. And Sunday, Justin and I did nothing. Didn't even leave my mom's house. On Monday we went to the pool where I played with my nephew for the majority of the day and then I worked out.
Justin left and headed home later that day.

I headed down to Raleigh for work for the week on Tuesday morning. The drive was easy and work was busy. So my week went quickly. On Friday I drove back up through Blacksburg to pick up my mom for the weekend. she spent this past weekend with us in Falls Church. Friday night we went out to dinner at this great place in Clarendon that has the best seared tuna salad. Yummy! Saturday we didn't do much but went to the market and I worked out. Basically just sat around the house until 5ish, headed over to Dave's for a beer or two and then went to Rock Bottom for dinner. And then we went to some friend's place to watch the LSU game. It was horrendous. We left by half. I was so mad and frustrated at how TERRIBLE our coaching staff was. Finally I just went to sleep to end the misery.

Yesterday was also slow. Worked out, then went out to brunch. Then sat around the house again. My mom and I left around 4 and headed into the district. We ate at Zaytinya's, which I LOVE LOVE LOVE! It is Greek, Medeterrian food in tapas style dishes. So that was very good and then we went over to MCI for the American Idol concert. I was a bit apprehensive about this concert and yet it turned out pretty good. I had fun. It was all covers and I knew about 95% of the songs, so it was just entertaining. Then we went home, went to sleep, mom left this morning and I am back in the office for work.

Hopefully this will be a normal week. Aiming to eat healthy and eat at home all week, head down to Blacksburg on Friday for the Ohio game and then I am again down in Raleigh all next week for work again. boo.

We are the Hokies and we need your help.

2007-08-27T11:40:00.001-05:00

As Hokies, we all know what Saturday is--the first home football game of the season. And now, the entire nation knows what a Hokie is. How times have changed in one year. ESPN’s College GameDay is coming to Blacksburg to help us start off the new football season. GameDay is not coming to Blacksburg because this Virginia Tech v. East Carolina battle is going to be the best game of the day in Division I football, hardly. Chris Fowler, Lee Corso and Kirk Herbstreet will be returning to Blacksburg not to for the reasons Blacksburg made GameDay famous for (13,000 crazy fans in maroon and orange) but to both pay respect to the events that occurred in April and also to show that Virginia Tech is moving forward. It is College Gameday’s opportunity to mourn with the Hokie community.

It is the Hokie community’s chance to say thank you.

Over the years, students have created posters that range from creative to crass. GameDay is known for all sorts of revelry, people dress up in costumes and the atmosphere is that of a traveling circus. But this time it is different in Blacksburg. We all know why they are here and let’s change how we handle this Saturday. No posters referencing Ball’s and Vick’s, instead why not use this vast media outlet to say thank you to the hundreds of colleges across the nation that pledged unyielding support following April 16?

As a community, we never knew what devastation on the levels of Columbine or the Amish schoolhouse shooting felt like. And unfortunately, now we do. But something else that we were surprised by was the awe-inspiring support that we received. Tears were shed for those who were loss but also for the emotions that overcame us as thousands of boxes, packages, flowers and checks started pouring into Blacksburg.

The nation will be tuning into Blacksburg to see how we are doing. Let’s show them our Hokie pride, let’s show them we are moving forward but we will never forget those 32. This is an opportunity to recognize why GameDay is in Blacksburg without losing the meaning of the day--It is our first home game and it is a new school year for Virginia Tech.

So make signs that say “Thank you, Virginia”, “Thank you, North Carolina”, “Thank you, Michigan”, “Thank you, JMU”, “Thank You, LSU”, “Thank you, Florida” and so on.

Let’s continue to show the world what it means to be a Hokie.

TGIF?

2007-08-24T10:06:00.001-05:00

It is friday. I haven't figured out if all my days feel like friday or if all my days feel like a monday. Yesterday I had to work from home because Justin has a work "fun" day which meant he went rafting with his team. But it also meant I didn't have a ride, so I was stuck at home. SO BORING. I sat in one room all day and had to force myself not to eat the whole house. Gavin was suppose to come get me for lunch, but he bailed, which sort-of let me down. That was all I was looking forward to that day. But Nicole Durfee stopped by in the late afternoon and we chatted for awhile, it was nice to have company!

Absolutely nothing going on this weekend. We are staying in tonight and making a good dinner and then I don't know what we are doing for the rest of the weekend. Justin has some football draft on Sunday, so I need to find something to do on Sunday because I don't want to be stuck home alone all day again!

Blah, boring and uneventful. But a week from today we head to Blacksburg for the first football of the season. So that is exciting and at least something to look forward to. And I have a doctor's appointment monday. I am hoping that he clears me to work full time, clears me to drive and clears me to go back to physical therapy.

Had better tuesday's.....

2007-08-21T22:17:00.001-05:00

This is getting old. It is a month tomorrow since I had surgery. I miss the gym so much. I am starting to gain weight and I really am trying to watch what I eat. I haven't been to the gym in over a month now. It is getting me down. It just really is making me upset with myself and wish things were going a little bit better. Here is my day.

Woke up
Went to work till noon
Came home
Worked from home and had 2 hour long phone meetings
Went to sleep at 5PM
Woke up at 8PM only because Justin made me get up to take my medicine and eat
Going back to sleep now.

And I get to do that again tomorrow, then Thursday and again Friday. I feel so lazy. I am exhausted by the afternoon. My knee is at least getting better. The infection is definately going away. It still is VERY hot and hurts pretty badly, but it is improving. It is so stiff. I am back basically to the same I was a week after surgery regarding bending it.

i am going crazy....I have never been lazy. My parents put me on a swim team when I was 3 years old, then I started tennis and golf, then I started soccer. Moved to Connecticut and played a lot of lacrosse, kept up with the swimming and tennis. Went to Chatham, played a varsity every season: Field Hockey, Swimming, Soccer. Then went to college, played on the water polo team my freshman year. Then I started running, then triathlons. And now I have done nothing for a month. I honestly have never taken more than a few days off...maybe a week if I was really hurt.

And now all I do is sitting around. I don't find enjoyment in domestic hobbies. Knitting, Crosswords, etc just don't do anything for me. I love reading but I am so exhausted that I either forget what I just read or I fall asleep.

I shouldn't let it get me down so much....but it is.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Itchy

2007-08-20T17:33:00.001-05:00

Went into the doctor's office first thing this morning after a night of pain and severe night sweats (eww!). The overall knee looks better and isn't nearly as hot. I took in chocolate chip cookies that I made last night for the office staff, seeing they have worked me into their schedule 3 different times in five days and one late sunday night call from the doctor. He said the incisions are still pretty infected but at least it isn't spreading. He told me that he would like me to be bedridden all week but I talked him into letting me work half days at the office and then work from home the other half. So basically I can do nothing for another week, which at least means I get to miss physical therapy. I go back next Monday to reevaluate. He increased my antibiotics again and is making me staying on them for another 14 days. They are killing my stomach and making me really itchy.

But no surgery! That makes me so happy, and I can handle the pain and itching.

I didn't even turn on the tv the whole afternoon because I am so sick of it. I just now turned it on and that is only because Bob Woodward is suppose to have an interview on ABC with tech victims.

And do I need to mention either of the other major VT headline stories? The carbon monixode leak that impacted 21 people....5 got moved between UVA and Duke. And then good ole Michael Vick...how does one person go so so so wrong?!

Still feeling a bit lost

2007-08-19T19:10:00.000-05:00

I spent the weekend trying not to think about going into emergency surgery. Trying to create all sorts of reasons or signs that I was in fact healing, when in all honesty my knee didn't seem much better.

Friday night, Clif and Abbie had Justin and I over to their house to "help" polish off some of the 5.5 cases of wine they have left over from their wedding. We were more than happy to aid in that task...and I knew they would take my mind off my impending doom. Clif grilled us some meat and Abbie made tasty stuffed peppers and out came the wine. It was quite tasty and a few hours of wine, Catch Phrase and a whole lot of 4 person Mario Cart made the hours pass by and laughter so much my sides hurt was a perfect cure for my anixety.

We went to sleep in their guest room, but I didn't sleep much at all. I think my fever was acting up and I was in pain. I woke up Saturday morning and tried to think of ways to fill my day. After a tasty breakfast of pancakes and peaches, Justin and I headed home. I decided I wanted to go walk around Georgetown for the day. It was gorgeous outside and only about 75 degrees.

So I crutched and Justin kindly strolled around with me for the day. We grabbed a few drinks down at the waterfront--Sequias, which I love because it isn't all yuppy like the other places down there. I never understand why girls get so dressed up for an afternoon in DC. It is just silly. Then we walked up to M Street and split some food from Old Glory's. A few more hours of walking around (and a pit stop at Dean and Deluca's so I could get liquoric) we headed to Maine Ave for some fresh seafood to take home. If you've never been to Maine Ave, it is a treasure in a mainly touristy city. It smells quite rancid, but it is where all the boats come in with their catches and where a lot of restaurants get their seafood for their menus. We decided on some Grouper, little neck clams and shrimp.

I got home and fell asleep for a few hours and then we decided to make some dinner. I was getting grumpy by then. I think it was anxiety and stress but I just felt like nothing Justin was doing was right and it was just frustrating me. Luckily he is patient and didn't really lose it despite me getting a bit bitchy.

Dinner was good, we ate outside on the screened in porch and then watched a movie--Idiocracy. It was terrible. I felt I lost a few hundred braincells in those few hours. Then I went down and went to sleep dreading today.

Nothing much calmed me down today. We watched the Virginia Tech memorial dedication on tv that my mom and others went to. It made me so sad and I did spend a lot of my day reading personal stories about those killed or injuried. It at least put my own pain and worried in prospective.

Justin made me breakfast (yummy french toast) and then we went to Target. That was fun at least because we finished off our registery. One Kitchen Aid mixer later (that is a sign of a put together kitchen!), a new microwave and some other random things and a few hundred dollars later, we headed home.

Still no news from the doctor about the lab test though.

My mom did call and let me know that 20+ kids at Tech were in an apartment that had a carbon monixode leak. 3 were airlifted to Duke and 2 to UVA...all unresponsive. Can VT not catch a break?!?!

Finally I called the emergency number for my doctor and got his cell phone. I left him a message and about an hour later he called me back (he was on a flight from Chicago) after calling and getting my lab results. The cultures came back negative for any growth, so no surgery tonight or tomorrow morning!!! He said to just stay off my leg, keep taking all the antibiotics, keep it elevated until tomorrow morning and then he'll see me as his first patient in the morning. He said he didn't know what they will do tomorrow until he sees it, but the good news was that it hadn't spread into my joints. It is still quite hot and the incisions are looking more infected. The scars are really red and are spreading wider because they are so infected. I have been running a fever for a few days now and that is just wearing me down! I hope he figures something out tomorrow.

It has been a tough weekend, not really relaxing at all. I dread starting the week tomorrow when I don't feel like I got a break. Justin's dad did stop by tonight and we went out to eat at the Italian Cafe. A bottle of wine, amazing food and some tasty dessert later, I do feel relaxed enough to sleep tonight.

Wow this was long.

Joint Tap

2007-08-17T16:37:00.000-05:00

The doctor didn't go as well today as i expected. Here is the walk through...

WARNING: This post is a bit graphic.
I woke up this morning and the knee didn't feel any worse, I thought if anything it was better, so I decided to go into work. I made it about 2 hours before I noticed how much my knee was swelling and was hot. I called the doctor's office and found out that my doctor (who I knew was in Chicago for a conference)'s partner could see me at 12:45. Justin took me over to their office. The doctor came in and right away he knew the infection was still there. He told me he was going to have x-rays taken and fluid removed from the knee. The x-rays...obviously not bad. The fluid....oh there aren't words to describe the pain that is involved with that.

Here is the description...the nurse came in and put what Justin described as the "Puppy wee Wee Pad" under me. Then they came in with a cart of tools. Numerous needles, tubes, vials and sprays. It seemed like I had to wait like 30 minutes, just think about what was about to happen. Finally it was game on. They sprayed the outer side of my right knee with this numbing stuff (that is such a lying name...the stuff did next to nothing!) and then said he was counting to 3 and then sticking. 2 second later, he stuck. And did he stick. A 4 inch needle into the inner part, under my knee cap, into the joint synovial sac. And then he dug and prodded. and I think tried to kill me. It was unbelievable painful. Out came some blood, some joint fluid and all sorts of gunk. And a continuous river of blood pouring out of the hole in the side of my knee.

Finally it was over and Justin and I had to take the fluid/blood concoction over to the Outpatient Lab at the hospital. Now I have to wait. In the next 48-72 hours I will get a phone call from the doctor letting me know if the infection spread. If the infection spread into the joint, then I under go emergency surgery. UGH!

My doctor's receptionist emailed him right away to let him know what was going on. She just called me back and let me know that my doctor is pretty concerned and that he went ahead and booked me into his first surgery slot on Monday. He is hoping that if the infection has spread that I can wait until Monday morning for surgery, so he can do it instead of having this other guy, who I've only met once, do surgery on me. I also have his cell phone number to call and talk to him at any point this weekend. I think that is amazing. So unlike a doctor in a big city. Their office feels very like a small town.

Now it is just a dreadful waiting game. I am not allowed to be away from my cell phone or go outside of cell phone service.

UGH.

I-N-F-E-C-T-I-O-N

2007-08-16T15:59:00.001-05:00

So I am back laying in bed. It all started on Tuesday. I didn't feel great half way through the day and went home at lunch. I figured it was because I worked all day on Monday and had just worn myself out. Tuesday night, justin and I went for a walk (I crutched) just so I could some fresh air. I came back and my leg was hurting so much. I couldn't get comfortable at all that night to sleep because of the pain. Then Wednesday I woke up and my leg hurt even more. I just couldn't understand what was going on. I figured if it wasn't any better by physical therapy, then I would just go next door to the doctor's after my appointment.

I went to therapy and it hurt more than words can explain. I kept telling the people there that my knee hurt more than it did after surgery and that it hurt above my kneecap, which made no sense because I don't have an incisions there. They kept coming up with explanations. My favorite was that my skin was hyper sensitive and that I need to reintroduce it to touch and the best way to do that was to run different kinds of fabric over it. So I finished my appointment and iced and it hurt so much that when I would stand up I thought I was going to pass out because the pain was so extreme. So I decided screw these physical therapist, they know nothing, I am going to stop by the doctor's.

I went over there and talked to his receptionist and said that I thought something was wrong and the pain in my knee had increased SIGNIFICANTLY in the last 24 hours. I said if he said this was normal and I just needed to suck it up, then that was fine, but I just wanted to make sure what was happening was okay. I hate just stopping by a doctor's office without an appointment. I have worked at a doctor's office for enough time that I know not to do this! It was about 4:30 in the afternoon and she was nice enough to let me back and put me in a room. My doctor came in (who I love, he is fantastic!) and took one look at my knee and said it was VERY infected. So he put me on antibiotics. I couldn't take some of the antibiotics that he wanted to give me because I have had really bad (throat swelling closed) to two different kinds of antibiotics over the years. So he gave me something and wanted me to start by taking 1000mg (normal dose I think is 250mg)...500 right away and then 500mg a few hours later. WHOA did that hurt my stomach! And he said if it wasn't better by Friday then I needed to come back in.

GLAD I DIDN'T LISTEN TO MY PHYSICAL THERAPIST AND TRUSTED MY INSTINCTS!

Here I am late thursday afternoon and I feel NO better. My knee is still very swollen, painful and hot. I am getting worried that the antibiotics arne't working. If they don't work by tomorrow morning I am getting concerned that they are going to admit me. I really really really don't want to spend my weekend in the hospital. On top of the boringness (is that a word?!), the iv's, the hospital food....I just don't want to have to pay more money for this injury! Insurance only pays 90%...which is great, but still...that 10% adds up!

This is just frustrating. I am not entirely sure what to think. My mom is a bit concerned that I could have picked up an infection while at the hospital, which means it could be antibiotic resistant. I am hoping that my internal stitches or something are infected. My doctor didn't know what was causing the infection and said we need to stop it spreading it, then we can figure out the cause.

Tomorrow morning means either I am going in the office or I am going to the doctor. Makes me a bit anxious/stressed. And my stomach hurts from taking antibiotics every 6 hours!

My triceps are killing me.

2007-08-11T11:57:00.000-05:00

I am still full from my amazing dinner last night. We went out to Neyla in Georgetown for Restaurant Week and it was wonderful. I cannot believe I got Justin to go eat Medeterrian food. He eats American food, Seafood and Mexican. I have convinced him to at least eat sushi, but he does that because he considers it still in the seafood category. So I loved the food but he wasn't too sold. But I was STUFFED. So I made us walk (well me crutch) around Georgetown to burn off some of the food. It is odd to walk around Georgetown at 10:30 at night and not aim to go into a bar. But it was fun window shopping. Can anyone really afford the furniture and other amazing things at those stores?! Well I guess obviously they can, but I don't think anyone my age can.

Today has been low key. Slept in and then went to the Farmer's Market. I love the market. It is so much fun just wandering around and tasting all the fresh in season fruits and veggies. I think we are going to grill out tonight and just stay in and take things easy. Neither of us really are aiming to spend money to go out just so we are entertaining ourselves. We can find ways to do that at home in a much more affordable manner. Especially seeing I don't move around all that well, so a crowded bar/club isn't really my scene right now.

Physical therapy went well on thursday. I bent my knee 115 degrees. I was SO proud of myself! I am getting around much better. And they let me get on the bike for about 10 minutes. It was wonderful. Painful, but wonderful. I can tell I am healing. I am not laying around nearly as much and i am antzy to go do things....like cleaning and laundry. I think Justin has come to notice how much I do around the house because this place is a WREAK without me picking up, doing laundry and cleaning the bathroom. I think we are going to move the day bed out of the living room today. Okay, Justin will be moving the day bed out of the living room, but anyway. I still get so exhausted so easily though. I have to keep myself attached to this ice machine most of the time, which makes me feel like an astranaut or something because the cables are so huge. And anything I do wears me down pretty quickly and I have to rest....but I can notice improvements.

Okay, I am aiming to finish writing all my thank you letters from the wedding today. I only have like 4 left, I don't know why i haven't done them yet anyway.

Sleep is a girl's best friend.

2007-08-09T09:18:00.000-05:00

So it has been a little over 2 weeks since surgery. I have made it into work every morning of this week and have been to physical therapy once. I have been working from home in the afternoons and then just sleeping a lot. I honestly don't think I can get enough sleep right now, which to me means that I am healing. I had a bit of a scare on Tuesday because I started running a fever (100 degrees) and the incisions were all VERY HOT. I was getting worried that I was starting to get an infection but it felt better yesterday and today and my temperature has been around 99, so I am pretty comfortable with that.

Physical therapy wasn't as bad on Monday as I expected but that was probably because it was just my first session and they didn't do too much. Just wanted to assess where I am up to this point. I did manage to bend my knee on my own up to 90 degrees. I was proud! They also gave me a bunch of exercise to do at home, which I have been doing and they HURT LIKE HELL. It is unbelieveable. And it is a bit upsetting because I just have so far to go before my knee bends normally. Ugh. But I guess I knew this was coming. I have a new appreciation and understanding of what real surgery is like...and it sucks.

I did find out my roommate from undergrad is pregnant and it is SO exciting! She and her husband have been trying ever since we got back from the Derby (that was my rule...no none drinkers on the Derby trip!) and she called me yesterday and let me know. Woohoo! I am excited for her and also to have someone else go through it before me and give me all the details. We did this with our weddings too...she got married a little over a year before me, so she got to tell me all my fears, etc. were normal.

Football starts soon. 3 weeks from tomorrow I head to Blacksburg for the first football game versus ECU. I am excited but also anxious. I know there will be a lot of the shooting for the first game and it is the first time VT has gotten to celebrate about something in awhile but it is amazing how raw those feelings still are. My mom said that her friends still start tearing up when they talk about it and my church in B'burg has had to bring in counselors in for professors, wives, etc. who just aren't moving forward and are getting so anxious about the upcoming semester. I have been back home a few times since the shooting but it is still such a sickening, overwhelming guteral feeling that comes over me when I think about it, so I am dreading have to open up all those wounds again.

Second physical therapy session today at 2:15. They said that I may be able to get on the bike today. I know it will hurt so much, but I will be thrilled to be able to ride again. The faster I recover and get back to the gym, the happier I'll be. And the sooner I get off crutches!!

My knee hates me for this weekend

2007-08-06T10:50:00.000-05:00

Quite a few days!! I am getting back into the land of the living. Friday night, Justin and I went to Clif and Abbie's wedding down in Charlottesville at this wonderful vineyard. The wedding was gorgeous! The weather...was not as gorgeous. It was miserably hot until the storm hit, then it poured down rain. But that let up for the ceremony. The wedding party walked down the aisle with major thunder and bolts of lightning hitting all over the place. I was sitting there trying to decide what to do if it starts to pour....and Justin said we would just wait and watch Clif and Abbie. If they ran, we could...optherwise we were sitting through it. Luckily the weather held for the ceremony and everything was inside. We had a great time.
I even danced (little awkwardly because it was only on one foot, but humerous.) I cannot wait to see pictures! Abbie looked wonderful in her dress and all the little details she has been working on really came together!

We were leaving the reception to get back on the bus (always a great idea!) and you had to walk across this porch that was had standing water on it. I was so careful and got to the last plank and went down face first, so hard that Justin expected a busted open face or missing teeth. Somehow I was okay except for some bruises on my arm. What a lovely exit!!

That night we went out in C'ville with a bunch of people at the Mellow Mushroom. No offense, but I still cannot stand C'ville. People just are so snobby. We were at the bar and people were getting annoyed with me for being on crutches...uummmm, I am not doing it as a fashion statement, I cannot walk!

When you haven't really drank in awhile, you shouldn't start your evening back at a vineyard. I had the worst hangover on Saturday morning!! But at least we had a handicap room at the hotel so I got to shower all by myself!!

Then we got on the road and headed to Newport News for wedding #2. We got to my grandmother's, changed and left with my mom to go to the church I grew up at. This wedding was insane! The bride was a good friend of mine growing up and my mother went to high school with the bride's mother....and my grandparents introduced the bride's grandparent's to one another. So needless to say, there is some history. The wedding was gorgeous. I really loved her dress and the bridesmaid dresses!

Then we went to the reception at the James River Country Club, where I grew up swimming, playing golf, tennis, etc. This reception was amazing. Money was not an issue. I would say there were 500 people at the wedding. There was more food than we could even begin to taste and drink bars every where. It was magnificant. But I would say the thing that was the most over the top would be the firework show that they had that evening. What wedding has fireworks?!?! Anyway, it was a great wedding to get to attend!

So yesterday we drove back to Falls Church. TOOK FOREVER! Then went to see the Bourne Ultimatium. Loved it! We are addicted to all the Bourne movies so I was so happy this one is out. It was really good. Then after the movie we went home and pain set in. I mean PAIN. I guess I did too much this weekend (well I knew I was doing too much, but I didn't really have any choice). It was as painful as the night I came home from the hospital. So I slept upstairs in the day bed again and got a little bit of sleep, but made it into work for this morning.

I have physical therapy in a few minutes. I am dreading this. They are going to hurt me. :(

Pain Killer Free!

2007-07-31T18:02:00.000-05:00

My lovely immobilizer.
The white thing on the end is my god forsaken blood clot preventing socks.

Two small incisions on top. It is so swollen you can barely see my kneecap.

The long slice up the side of my knee. My knee cap it at the top of that picture.

Well it has been a week since surgery tomorrow and I am feel MUCH better. I have almost gone 24 hours without pain killers and yesterday I only took 2 the whole day. I am proud, I wanted off those things ASAP. They were making me feel so fuzzy and sick. I got really sick in the middle of the day yesterday again, and I blame the pain killers so I decided I was getting off those ASAP. So I have just been taking 2 Tylenols every time the pain gets bad and that usually at least takes the edge off and I am fine.

I went to the doctor yesterday. They took my stitches out. Two of the incisions felt fine coming out, almost like pulling out an annoying splinter. And then came the long incisions....holy crap! It felt like they were pulling my brain through my knee...whoa! Then the doctor said I need to work from home all week, so I can keep my leg elevated, etc. I was really surprised, I thought he was going to say I could go to work today. I don't even start physical therapy until the 7th of August. He also made me put on these heinous blood clot preventing socks. So annoying. They run from my toes to my crotch and apply constant pressure all over my leg...needless to say, not comfy! Lets see, what else did he say....I can put about 20LBS worth of weight on my leg and he wants me to start bending my knee on my own. That's why I love my doctor, he knows how athletic and dedicated to healing that I am, that that is why he isn't making me go to physical therapy right now. He said all the things they would do for the next week that I can do at home. So, he wants me to be able to bend up to 40 degrees by the 7th, which I think I am at about 30 degrees right now. I don't even go back to the doctor for another month....looks like I am going to love being on these crutches for awhile. And I cannot shower for another few days! Justin is still bathing me and washing my hair, which is great, but I REALLY WANT TO SHAVE! It is getting NASTY quickly. And I just noticed my eyebrows have not had any attention from the tweezers in a week and it is getting out of control quickly. Need to get Justin to bring up my makeup and tweezers so I can do some damage control.

I worked from home yesterday and today. Yesterday I actually did a lot of work, no easing back in! Today was normal and steady. Keeps me busy.

It is pathetic, I have watched so much TV that I can quote (or sing the jingle) with about 90% of all commercials. Justin is ashamed.

Aim tonight: Sleep through the night in my own bed!! I am sick of being upstairs by myself. Justin and I go to bed and he is downstairs and I am up here and we talk to each it...it is like being in glorified bunk beds. But I am ready to sleep in my own bed, just need to aim not to keep Justin up all night.

Missy said she may come over tonight. That would be fabulous. It is lonely here. And I am getting to have a glass of wine thanks to weening myself off the painkillers. Best day so far!

Working myself back to reality!

Glorous Shower

2007-07-29T17:22:00.000-05:00

Yesterday went so downhill it is unbelievable. Today has been my best day so far. Yesterday started poorly because I hadn't slept much the night before and then didn't eat much and was in a lot of pain, therefore taking my pain killers...without food. This caught up to me yesterday when I felt really sick to my stomach and only got worse. I started running a fever and couldn't hold down even a sip of ginger ale. It was probably the most sick (throwing up) I have been since I was a child. Sheer misery. My mother had already left and Justin was left nursing me. I just couldn't stop throwing up and he had no idea what to do. Finally we called the doctor who told me I need to take off the blood cot-preventing tights I had on (went from my toes to my groin and were very tight on both legs) and open my immobilizer up and remove the ace bandage, which was causing a tourniquet like effect, which was what was causing all the throbbing pain. Then he called me in a different pain killer. He didn't really have much advice for the heavy throwing up except to take my nausea medication and that I need fluids and food, but I couldn't hold either down any of those things. Finally Justin went to the pharmacy to get the new pain meds and also got me Swedish Fish and Pedalite. You think this sounds absurd I bet...but those Swedish Fish saved my life I think. I would just suck on them so that I was getting some sugar into my system and take the smallest little sip of pedalite. This went on for almost an hour (intake about 4 Swedish fish and like 6oz of pedalite but that was the most I had kept down in hours) and finally I started to feel better. In about 3 hours I had turned over a new leaf...Justin was amazed by the change in my color. He said I was so pale and finally I looked normal and felt normal. I even held down some rice later that night and we watched half of Pirates of the Caribbean (the first one, I hadn't seen it)...then I feel asleep.

I slept about the same last night as I have most nights...sleep a few hours, then up a few hours, then sleep a few more. The pain wasn't too bad. When I woke up this morning, I ate some toast and held down a normal amount of drink. All day I have managed to hold down some soup, some crackers, some watermelon and some tortilla chips. I think that is pretty okay! I feel the best that I have all week. We pulled out the trundle bed that was under the day bed that I am on and I basically have a full size bed up here in our living room. But it means I have a back to the bed, so I am able to sit up most of the day today, which I haven't done all week.

Improvement!!!

And I took a shower!! The doctor told me that I could rinse off as long as I didn't get the stitches wet. It was the most awkward but enjoyable showers I think i have ever taken. We basically sat me in the tub backwards and kept my bad leg (it doesn't bend) straight out and propped up on the back of the tub and then just washed my hair (and conditioner...yum!) and good smelling girly soap. It was great. Got on some more clean PJs and just relaxed all day. Finished Pirates, which was pretty good and have sat around all day. I bought a Game Cube (off Ebay) because of my surgery and I have been playing Zelda. Brainless but fun. It does exhaust me, which I find pretty pathetic!

So I would say today has been my best day by far. I go back to the doctor tomorrow morning to look at the stitches and such. I doubt he will remove them, but he is at least checking up on me. I will start working from home tomorrow. I couldn't possibly go to the office, for the main reason that I have to keep my leg propped up above my heart at all times to minimize swelling, which isn't really conducive of being a cubicle dweller. And I cannot really crutch around...I mean, physically I can, but it hurts so much still--the pounding. The furthest I go is to the bathroom on the far side of my living room, which is at most 10 feet and that just about kills me. Hopefully by Wednesday or Thursday I'll be able to go into the office, but I have VPN so I can do my work from home...now just hoping the painkillers don't kill any productivity.

Blah, I am definitely hit my limit of E News, VH1, MTV and the Food Network...and the tour ended today (woohoo Discovery Channel!) so I don't even have that to keep me entertained anymore. I have In Demanded every movie I can think of and just movies in general are boring me. I don't feel like watching a 2.5 movie...my attention span right now is MAX 60 minutes and that is really pushing it.

This is the longest post I have had in ages...shows my improvement! Now boredom sits in because the severe pain has passed.

But boy does my leg itch and I can't scratch it!!!

Popsicle Central

2007-07-27T14:47:00.000-05:00

Today I am feeling a bit better...more awake. My knee hurts almost as much but my head is clearer. I slept most of the night, or at least dozed. I was really nauseous right before bed, so I finally took some medicine for the nausea and that helped me sleep better. Then this morning I slept from about 11AM-2PM, so I am feeling a bit better. I have learned taken 1/2 a percocet every 2 hours instead of a whole one every 4 hours helps the most. The pain is never totally gone but it is never totally overwhelming. I have started getting headaches a lot...probably all the drugs. I am on a soup, watermelon and graham cracker diet...plus a lot of soda. I am still laying in bed about 95% of the time.... I only get up to use the bathroom. My mom washed my hair in the kitchen sink and I sponge bathed myself. Nice to put on clean PJs.

It is Friday. Probably not a lot going on this weekend. I think my mom is leaving tomorrow. Which I think both Justin and I are dreading, but she needs to get back to her normal life. And now I think one of my other sister's is heading home to my mom's now that she broke her elbow. She is casted up to her shoulder. She went first thing this morning to get her long, thick, black hair cut off because she cannot even wash it or get it into a ponytail. I feel worse for her because I have Justin around to help me and she cannot do anything....get dressed, wash, put on makeup, anything...I just cannot walk (but have crutches) and I won't be able to drive for awhile...she can at least drive because she broke her left arm.

Popsicle then nap.

Percocet is my friend

2007-07-26T15:34:00.001-05:00

Today the pain is much worse than yesterday, which I didn't expect. I didn't sleep too much during the night. I tried to go to sleep at about 11:30. I slept until 2, then woke up and watched some TV. I should have taken a new pain killer when I went to sleep around 3, but I decided that I was doing okay and didn't need to. Then I woke up about 4:45 and the pain was INSANE. It felt like my leg was enormous and throbbing. Ugh. So I took a pain pill and watched John Cincinnati On Demand and finally went to sleep when the sun was coming up. I slept until almost 8 and woke up with my leg KILLING me. So I now it has hurt all day, I am not sure if it just hurts more today because all the drugs the hospital has given me or if it hurts more because I missed that pain pill and now I am playing catch up. No matter what, it is quite uncomfortable and I don't feel like I can find a position that takes the pain away at all. My friend Jason Carvalho brought lunch over to my mom and I. Italian Store....mmm, so fabulous. I ate half a small sandwich (most food I've eaten since coming home) but it took over an hour. It tasted great though. Then I took a nap.

I woke up to my mother on the phone freaking out. One of my older sister's, Abby, fell at work today and broke her elbow. She is a teacher during the school year and works as a waitress during the summer. It was just an accident and she had someone step backwards and she slipped on the floor. Being a dirt poor teacher, she needs the money. She is now unsure how she'll pay for her bills if she is casted up to her shoulder. She doesn't know if her work will pay worker's compensation right away. Poor Abby. Being one in pain right now, I don't want anyone else going through this. I just talked to her and she seems to be in pretty good spirits. Maybe she'll get enough worker's compensation that she can enjoy her summer and lay out.

I feel real doped up right now. I am nauseous...I hate feeling sick to my stomach but my pain is better.

bedridden

2007-07-25T14:08:00.000-05:00

Well I had surgery this morning. I am a bit doped up right now from percocet. The surgery ended up being a bit more major than planned. He couldn't do it arthroscope unfortunately and I have a nice scar around my knee. And I got disposable screws in my knee. But I feel okay. Just woozy and in pain.

Now I am bedridden for days. This is going to get boring. Any friends are more than welcome to come by at any time!

okay....

Nap time.

Waiting for the weekend

2007-07-18T15:48:00.000-05:00

Had my pre-op appointment this morning. I found out the surgery will take 3 hours. What are they doing in there for 3 hours?!?! I feel with that time I will wake up to a bionic knee! My mom is coming into town next Tuesday to take care of me. We go to the hospital Wednesday morning (9:30) and surgery is suppose to start at 11:30. It'll last until 2:30 and then into post-op for 1-2 hours. Then I'll be moved into a private room to recover.

Who knows when I'll get to go home. I feel like after that much time, they should just admit me for the night so my mom and Justin don't have to deal with sitting in the Lobby, at least they would get a room and then they wouldn't have to carry me upstairs at home. We decided to move the bed from our 3rd bedroom (daybed with a trundle) upstairs so that I have an actual bed and I am where it is light and the kitchen, nice tv, etc. is all up there. Once I am up there I think I am stuck for days. Gross.

I miss having Justin home right now. It is lonely. I talk to the cat a lot. And I eat my microwave dinners. The sad thing is that I still don't go to bed early! I really try to, but some how I look over and it is later than I usually go to sleep...and I have been bored and doing nothing.

Tonight I am heading out to Clif and Abbie's to help them with wedding details. I won't be eating Lean Cuisine for dinner tonight!

Sleepy Monday

2007-07-16T15:03:00.000-05:00

This week is going to be long. Justin is out of town for the week...work in Richmond. It is kind of sad and pathetic, but when I am at home without Justin, I just hate cooking for myself. So I live off of frozen meals, salad bar or eating out with people.

I went to Florida this past weekend with Abbie Currie. It was fabulous. The hotel we stayed at was kind-of in the middle of no where, but it was nicer (different) than we expected. Our condo had 2 bedrooms, 2 baths, dining room, full kitchen, etc. The sad part is that we ended up sharing the big bed both nights. It would have been too weird and lonely moving to a different room...and we enjoyed staying up talking until we passed out. We went and had massages and facials on Saturday at the spa at the resort....mmmm, fabulous. i love massages. Then we decided that we "needed" to go shopping. I spent quite a bit more than I expected or really should have, but they were cute clothes. I kind of felt like this weekend was a treat for myself before the doom of surgery. And for Abbie, it was a last girl's weekend before her wedding. She gets married in 2 weeks and some days.

I am exhausted today though. Tan, but exhausted. Because of terrible storms on the East coast, our flight was delayed last night and I didn't get home until almost 10Pm....starving and annoyed. If we were going to be delayed, I would have liked to use that time to lay out more...not sit in the airport!

Okay, trying to stay motivated. And go back to the gym for the other half of my workout after work. I am debating lifting...I know I probably should but I am just tired, so I may just do some more cardio.

Surgery: T-9 days.

knife.

2007-07-10T11:04:00.001-05:00

Went to the doctor today and we set July 25th as the day for surgery. I am glad/happy because I want my knee back but i am scared for surgery. I am not really worried that anything will go too wrong, I just worry about the pain and the recovery. He said I would miss a week(!) of work and I will be on crutches for at least 2 weeks....and then I can only come off them once I can walk without a limp at all. Just scary. I need to make sure I don't obsess about this for the next 2 weeks, especially next week when Justin is out of town.

Go Tom Boonen!

2007-07-09T10:11:00.000-05:00

Amazing weekend. Friday night we grilled out a bunch of food, drank some really good wine and watched The Departed. It was great. On Saturday, we went to the Tiger Wood's Tournament (AT&T National) because my brother Douglas had gotten us tickets. It was a lot of fun. We saw Tiger a few times but mainly just walked around and followed a few golfers or sat in the shade and enjoyed. Had a few beers and walked about 5 miles. My knee is SO swollen and my whole leg is sore. I definitely did a little too much! Then Saturday night, we just came home and crashed...made a tasty dinner and watched Live Earth. Fabulous and lazy. On Sunday, I woke up at 10:30AM...10:30!! I don't know the last time I woke up that late. Then just cleaned up around the house. Then I went to the gym, did some cardio and then laid out at the pool for about 3 hours. It was great. The heater for the hot tub was broken, but they still had all the jets on. So it was just normal temperature with benches and jets...i just stayed in there are read a book. Perfect day!

And now I am just sitting at work. Trying to figure out how i'll make it through the week. The Tour de France started on Saturday, so I am listening to the live audio at work and we tape it, so I'll watch it tonight. Yes, I know...a lot of people find that odd. But I ADORE the Tour and I have dragged Justin into my obsession. I think it all started when I studied abroad in France. Everyone lives and dies by the tour during the month of July, all TVs seem to be turned to it. I went and watched the finish that year (2nd year Lance won) and I have been hooked ever since.

Also this weekend....Girl's weekend to Florida. Abbie and I are already picking out our spa services and dreaming of laying out by the pool on Saturday and utilizing the swim up bar. mmmmm.

I go back to the doctor tomorrow. I guess we will figure out when I have surgery. I am hoping for the 19th or 20th of this month. Fingers Crossed.

sleepy...sleepy...

2007-07-05T11:11:00.001-05:00

I am so full. I think I ate enough yesterday to make it until this weekend, but does that stop me from eating...no. I am really tired today. These kids wouldn't stop setting off fireworks in the parking lot near our house until like midnight. It drove me nuts. And I took a nap from 7:00-8:30PM, so I think that really threw my whole body off.

The fourth went well. Justin and I went out to Clif and Abbie's on Tuesday night and grilled out and drank TONS of wine. We were celebrating Abbie's acceptance into the accelerated nursing program at GMU. Then we played Catch Phrase. Abbie and I went upstairs and just laid on her bed and talked until quarter to three. Then I just had to go to bed. All day yesterday Abbie and I just prepped food for her Fourth of July party. A quick run to Target to pick up more plastic cups ended up costing me over $50 because I felt the need to buy a cute purse and a new straw hat. Sheesh, pathetic.

The weather ended up being so gross yesterday. We had thunderstorm/tornado watches, so the cookout turned into an eat inside and yell at each other over the thunder. Justin and I went home after the storm and didn't even see the fireworks. I watched a little bit on TV of NYC, but really couldn't get into televised fireworks.

My brother called yesterday and said he probably could get Justin and I tickets to the Tiger Tournament on Saturday, so I think we are going to do that this weekend. No other plans this weekend except i really need to avoid spending much cash!

Slowly Maturing....

2007-07-02T12:43:00.000-05:00

I wrote an email months ago to an ex-boyfriend apologizing for how i ended the relationship. I was pretty heartless. I never heard anything back, so I assumed numerous things, the main one being that he just didn't accept my apology or that he never had gotten the email because his email address had changed.

I got an email back today from him, short and sweet, but it was accepting my apology. I cannot describe how glad I am that I wrote that email. More than anything I am glad he was able to read it and I didn't write it so that I could get a reply. It was more getting the weight off my chest and owning up for something I did. Apologizing to someone I cared about and confessing that I had behaved poorly. Admitting to poor character can be a tough thing to do.

Lazy Sunday.

2007-07-01T13:30:00.000-05:00

I am exhausted. I haven't even had enough motivation to take a shower today and it is 2:30. But I guess it could be worse, Justin is still laying in bed. We had people over last night for a cookout, some bocci and some drinking. I had a blast. We ended up going to the karaoke bar next door with one of Justin's friend's from high school and his girlfriend. I must say, it was one of the more entertaining things I have gotten to see in quite awhile. Tequila apparently makes Justin OBSESSED with singing in front of a crowd. We stayed until last call and finally came home. I crashed but Justin stayed up and cleaned the whole house up after the party. Boy was I amazed when I got up this morning, thinking the upstairs would be trashed and I found all the dishes done and the trash had been taken out. It was a nice surprise!

So now I have just laid around and prayed that my stomach would start to feel better. I think there is a chance I am not even leaving the house for the day. I think that is a perfect Sunday. I should finish writing my thank you notes. I will aim to motivate and do that later on tonite. This will be an odd week at work because July 4th is on a Wednesday. We are heading out to Clif and Abbie's new house and relaxing out there.

Okay, time to try and force Justin to wake up.

TGIF!!!

2007-06-29T16:04:00.001-05:00

Friday!!! Today has been so hectic. I am glad it is almost over. I went to the DMV and got my name changed, it took forever! Now I need to go to the gym for an hour. I have zero motivation and the only the is keeping me going is that tonight is all you can eat crab night!!! We are heading to Quarterdeck with Gavin and Carvalho and I cannot wait.

I am hoping next week will be nice and lazy. I feel like Justin has been so busy this week that we haven't talked a whole lot expect over dinner and such at all. We worked in the yard a lot last night and it really does look awesome! He is really busy at work.

Okay it's 5PM. and I can get out of here! On the day close of Q2. That just shows we worked our butts off all day to make it so we aren't working tonight or tomorrow morning.
Off to the GYM! (keep thinking...crabs...beer...crabs...beer)

Wishing I could take a nap.

2007-06-28T14:59:00.000-05:00

Thursday. This week has either been really busy or really slow. I would prefer steady. I have been fighting a headache all day long, but really have no idea why...it is just a mild nagging one. I think I just need more sleep.

Last night Justin and I went to Lowe's and bought a ton of stuff for the yard. New plants, bushes, weedwacker, lights, etc. I am excited. It does seem a bit absurd to be putting money into a house that we rent, but I want to live somewhere that I am not embarrassed by...and we will be there at least until September 2008. Most of the stuff can go with us when we move anyway. I just wish the owners didn't suck and would let us deduct something from the rent or help pay for materials with all the labor we are putting into this place.

Abbie Currie and I just decided that we are taking a girl's trip to Florida in 2 weekends. Basically, I could not go on her bachelorette party weekend because of my knee, so instead we are having our own girl's weekend. We are flying into Orlando on the 13th (is it bad to fly on Friday the 13th??!) and staying at this Spa resort. I like to ignore the fact that Disney is in Orlando, and instead we will just be lazy, tan and drink. Mmmm, sounds like a fabulous weekend to me.

Justin and I are settling into married life just fine. In all honesty it isn't really different than un-married life. My name changed and I think we are both a bit more relaxed but other than that, it really isn't any different.

So that is what my Lats feel like.

2007-06-25T10:00:00.000-05:00

Whoa I am sore. I did a TON of yard work yesterday. I created us a flowerbed, relaid out stone walkway and lined to the driveway with stones. And then I weeded and laid mulch. It hurt to sit, breath,type. My knee is not a fan of me right now.

It was a good weekend. Friday night we went to Carvalho's birthday party, which was good to see those guys. And to hangout with Nicole. Then Saturday, Justin and I went out to Leesburg for his little brother's Eagle Court/Graduation. We spent the day out there helping set up and just enjoyed being out at their house. We were going to leave Saturday night but we ended up deciding to stay and spend more time with the family. Then on Sunday Justin went out on the boat and I decided to go home and have a lazy day. Laundry, yard work and quite a few movies.

I don't think I can stress enough how much I adore Zach Braff. I watched the movie The Last Kiss last night and loved it. I cannot get enough of Garden State (what an awesome soundtrack!) and I am a Scrubs groupie.

I am settling into married life. We are getting back to being able to not plan every weekend/moment of our lives. It is nice.

Need more tylenol.

Never go to a government building on a Friday!

2007-06-22T13:59:00.000-05:00

I went to the Social Security Office today and it was hell on earth. Ugh. Took over 2 hours but it is done. I hope to never have to go to that building again!

Clif and Abbie came over last night for dinner. We grilled out and drank some beer. It was a fun low key evening.

I am FRUSTRATED because I have gained quite a bit of weight in 2 weeks. I blame all the drinking and guacamole in Mexico and then a week that included 2 rounds of late night pizza and 2 weeknights of drinking 3+ beers....and not light beers. So time to get back on the diet wagon. No more late night pizza and I need to watch the drinking! What happened to the 22 year old body that I had that could drink till the cows came home and bar food numerous times a week?!?! Grr.

This weekend should be good. Night, we are going to my friend Jason's birthday. He is having a party at his house...should be fun but I am aiming to go light on the party. Tomorrow we have Justin's little brother's graduation party, so heading to Leesburg for most of the day. Then Sunday we are suppose to head out on Justin's dad's boat again. My only issue with that is the above paragraph regarding the weight gain combined with wearing a bathing suit.

2007-06-21T11:15:00.000-05:00

It is that time again!! The tour starts in a few days (July 7th) and I cannot wait. Justin and I turn into dorks and start Tivo'ing the Tour every day. Last year I was able to listen/semi watch at my old job. I do not think that will work as well at this job. Glee. It is my favorite month of the year!

In other news, the wedding went great! I haven't posted here in ages because well, it was a hectic month!!! Basically everything the weekend of the wedding went off without a hitch and I think everyone had a fabulous time. There were a few drops of rain and some ominous clouds, but the outdoor ceremony and reception was incredible. There are a few things I would change/do different (we bought boutonnieres for the groomsmen and then forgot to put them on. No one noticed. Note to self: Save money, forget the boutonnieres) and we probably could have had more waitstaff. But we had a BLAST and really enjoyed ourselves and made sure to spend the entire weekend with all our guest.

We did eat at Hardee's the night after the wedding. That is just slightly embarrassing but we were STARVING and could not find anywhere to eat right after we got back to the hotel. We then went out to the hotel bar with all our friends to hang out and ended up ordering pizza and having beers in our room with a crowd of people after last call. I don't think our room was empty until almost 4AM. We loved it.

The honeymoon. WOW! This place was incredible! I just want to go again! All you can drink, all you can eat and more pools and waitstaff than you can imagine. They really pampered us! Our room was gorgeous, huge hot tub in our room, balcony and an ocean view. We had wine, champagne , chocolate covered strawberries in our room and a mini fridge and liquor bar that was refilled daily. But we didn't spend all the much time in our room, we aimed to be down by the pool or on the beach as much as possible. The food was great, especially at night and we met tons of other honeymooners. We definitely got our money's worth and just had a GREAT week.

Now back to normal life. Looking at surgery on the knee next month. The knee did pretty well for the wedding and honeymoon. There were a few moments at the wedding where I got concerned and there were many things I couldn't do on the honeymoon but for the most part, it held up better than I could have asked it to.

IT IS MAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-05-02T14:04:00.000-05:00

Quick little post just to say that I am starting to get REALLY nervous/stressed/anxious about this wedding. It is in a little over 3 weeks and I think I may have a heart attack between now and then. I didn't think I would get like this at all, but then suddenly, it was May and I have begun to freak. The enormity of this entire event has hit me and it is just a bit overwhelming.

I am heading to the Kentucky Derby on Friday morning with Nicole, Alice, Jess and Abbie Currie. I CANNOT wait. I need this weekend with my ladies. We all have our derby hats and dresses and are ready to do Louisville up right.

Update on bridesmaid dresses: they have been mailed to all my bridesmaids, so that is out of my hands. Relief.

I keep remembering a million things I need to do when I am not at work and then I forget. Need to call about cheese, call about beer, and about 15 other things. OH YIKES STRESSES.
Breathe....will be in the birth place of bourbon in less than 4 days.

May 26th just gets closer and closer

2007-04-25T13:04:00.000-05:00

This week is definitely going better than last week. Maybe it was the trip to the beach that helped level me out...or it is the fact the Justin is no longer out of town. Anyway, I am getting my productivity back.

This past weekend we went to a wedding in Virginia Beach. It was Dan and Annie's wedding. Both went to VT and Dan finished his master's the same semester that I did. We shared a room with Joe & Missy. It was a fabulous time and the weather was great...except Va Beach is a bit shady. I did well on the watching what I was drinking and did not have a hangover at all.....I cannot say the same for some of my hotel room companions. But it was a great weekend!

So far I have been pretty productive about the wedding. Tomorrow is the 1 MONTH countdown. WHOA! Justin's mom has the bridesmaid dresses and we are going out there tonight to get them, so I will be able to mail them to Abby and Allie. I also called the owner of TOTS, got the wording of the programs done, confirmed who our readers are, emailed the Huffman House, cancelled the rental truck, confirmed the groomsmen measurements for tuxes are in and told my mom to confirm the times of the bus trips to and from the Huffman House.

It has been busy! And I still feel like I have a MILLION details left to do. YIKES. My brain is turning to mush.

Now if only people would RSVP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I have started to get nervous and stressed.......

Aim: Not to turn into bridezilla.

I am PROUD to be a Hokie.

2007-04-20T08:49:00.000-05:00

I am in shock still. The emotions are so raw. I just feel violated, devastated, and prideful all at once. I grew up a Hokie and I have lived in Blacksburg since high school. I love my hometown. I always have...long before this. I could have chosen to go to a different school but there was no whereI wanted to be besides Blacksburg, VA. There were better graduate schools for my degree and I had the grades and scores to get into them, but I couldn't leave Virginia Tech. I have always referred to Blacksburg as being like Disney World...the happiest place on Earth and as you can see from the pride of the rest of the Hokie community, I am not the only person who thinks that.

This one person shattered our worlds....but he is not going to change this school and town. Without a thought, the entire Hokie community banded together on Monday....never pointed fingers....never blamed Steger or the rest of the administration....there never was a backlash against the Korean community. All there was were tears, hugs and at times even a few cheers. I don't have words for this event...nothing really explains how this has affected me and the rest of our community.

It has been devastating beyond belief but we need to start the healing process. The media needs to stop over analyzing everything and being so involved in this event. Blacksburg and the Virginia Tech campus need to have time to itself, outside of the media spotlight, so that it can start to move forward and start to heal.

At Virginia Tech you ALWAYS get asked the question: What is a Hokie?

I am.

Oh Blacksburg....

2007-04-16T17:26:00.000-05:00

I am stunned.

My hometown was not suppose to be the site of the worst shooting in US history. My family is safe. Now it is just waiting to see the list of names. I am proud to be from Blacksburg, to of attended Virginia Tech and am just so saddened that this tragedy is happening.

Hokies.

Less than 6 weeks

2007-04-15T16:01:00.000-05:00

The dresses have been found. sort of. The woman called and said that she had found the dresses. They are on a boat. I know at work when we order things from Asia and have them shipped on a boat, it can take up to 6 months. I am not sure how much better I feel about this situation. I guess at least they were ordered. She said I should know more details by this Friday.

Yesterday, my friend Abbie and I went shopping and had a BLAST. The aim was to get Derby hats and dresses but we accidentally bought quite a few other things, but what can I say....there were some cute clothes out there. I am glad we waited until the end of the day to go hat shopping because it was HYSTERICAL and took 3 hours. We finally just had to make a decision. We both agreed that it was harder to select a Derby hat than wedding dresses. There were so many fabulous, gorgeous, whimsical hats...I think my stomach still hurts from all the laughing.

But while shopping I did get ribbon for the bridesmaid dresses, so I did do something productive regarding the wedding!

Then last night I went out to dinner with some girlfriends. We met for dinner and then went to a lounge for a little bit. I hadn't eaten anything during the day because of my 7 hour shopping adventure and the alcohol hit me quicker than I expected. I feel silly that I was so sloppy. I have decided to stop the drinking until the wedding because I just am so busy/ overwhelmed/ anxious about everything going on with the wedding, knee, etc that it just isn't a combination for me right now.

So Justin is out of town this week. For some reason I am really bummed about him being gone. Typically it doesn't bother me but right now I am not looking forward to this week because I feel like I am going to be really lonely.

But next weekend we are going Virginia Beach for a wedding of one of Justin's former roommates. I am SO excited to go to the beach and be around so many people that I really enjoy. I am hoping the weather will be nice. We need to remember to go to Hauser's and decide what we want engraved into our wedding bands.

to do this week for the wedding
-Talk to Tony about music
-Verify with the Huffman House about tent setup, portojohn's, etc
-Start working on the programs
-Have Justin talk to Hasani!!
-Find out pricing quote from Aztec about chairs

and that is all I can remember right now.

Go back to the doctor on Thursday for another check-up. Doesn't seem like it is healing at all to me, but at least it doesn't hurt as much as it did. Still is VERY loose and unstable though.

Bridesmaid Dresses Horror

2007-04-11T13:59:00.000-05:00

I just called the store that I ordered my bridesmaid dresses from.

AND THEY DIDN’T HAVE ANYTHING ON RECORD.

Not only have they charged me but these dresses take 12 weeks to come in. The woman is checking with the manager, who is on vacation, and it may not be until tomorrow when I find out what the hell is going on.

If anything turns me into a chain-smoking alcoholic….this wedding may be it.

Cadbury is causing my demise

2007-04-09T15:10:00.000-05:00

Ugh. I ate too much over the holiday weekend. I need to focus on this wedding! I think a nice detox with no alcohol (except for the Derby) for the next 6 weeks may be a good thing. Justin and I went to Blacksburg over the weekend. Well, actually we left at 5AM on Saturday morning. We woke up with an inch of snow and I-66 was a SHEET of ice. It wasn't the best experience either of us has had. Then we had our final pre-marriage counseling session, which went well and then we just ate a lot and spent time with family/friends. I am exhausted.

Wedding details are getting down to few. And our RSVPs are rolling in. Exciting!!! My aim today is to decide if we should have a cake topper. I looked for a hokie bird topper and it was $150...that is just NUTS! I do not want a cake topper that is worth that much....that is more than the bridesmaid dresses!!

I went to the doctor last Thursday and he said that my MCL wasn't really healing. We discussed surgery and he said he would not do surgery before the wedding because if I had surgery this week I would only have 6 weeks to heal and he could not promise I would be able to walk down the isle. So it looks like June I may be going under the knife. The doctor told me I could get on a stationary bike with zero resistance just to increase my range of motion. So I did that Saturday along with situps/pushups. I took my brace off afterwards and my entire knee/leg was this incredible purple color. It was definitely the worst bruising I have had since the injury. Even my family was mildly impressed by the bruising. So I guess I did a little too much. Back to icing and resting, maybe I'll try to get on the bike for a few minutes later on this week.

At least my immobilizer is something blue...

pout.

2007-04-03T13:30:00.000-05:00

I just went to my first physical therapy session. My knee has not healed at all since February 17 and surgery is looking imminent. I called the doctor to figure out what I should do next. If the recovery is about a month to get back to where I am in now, then I want in there ASAP. If it takes longer I will have to decide if I should wait until after the wedding. The honeymoon is not looking like it is going to happen when planned.

I am as upset today as the day I got injured.

March: In like a LION, hopefully out like a LAMB

2007-03-29T15:13:00.000-05:00

So I haven't written in here in ages. March just hasn't been the best month and I am not much of a complainer, especially with situations that you have no control over. I just turn introverted. So at the end of February, I tore my MCL snowboarding. I was on crutches until last week and I am still in an immobilizer. I miss my cardio.

Also at the beginning of the month my grandfather caught pneumonia and passed away. He was 91, so I like to think he died of old age basically. Because I cannot drive, I took the train down to Newport News for the funeral and stayed down there for about 4 days.

That Saturday Justin and I had the most AMAZING engagement party thrown by the Donaldson's. It had most of my family's close Newport News friends (where I lived until I was 12 and my mother was born there.) The party had a "rock around the clock" theme and the food and drinks were incredible. We had a blast and really appreciated everything the Donaldson's did for us.

Another major thing that happened this month occurred on the same day as my grandfather's funeral. Which was a 40 degree, pouring down rain friday. It was a graveside funeral and I just huddled with my grandmother attempting to keep her warm. Anyway, that evening Justin, me and 2 of my brother's came home from watching the VT basketball game out at a bar to find out that my brother in law had committed suicide. To say this was SHOCKING was an understatement. It has been tough to grasp why someone would do this...especially when you have 2 sons that are 15 & 13. I feel terrible for my sister but I feel speechless and just plain angry for what this does to my nephews.

Lastly, for the ugliness of the month of March, I went back to the doctor at the beginning of last week for my knee and was told that it wasn't healing. So another month of nothing...just waiting to see if it heals. I feel like it hurts less and supports me more, but who knows. GRRR.

On a bright note--Allie (my maid of honor) came and spent last weekend with me. She threw me a great shower on Saturday (Lingerie!) and we had a great weekend together. Sunday was Justin's birthday and a bunch of us went out Saturday night to celebrate.

I am heading to Blacksburg tomorrow. My first time driving since the injury. I rented a car hoping this will make the trip go faster. Hopefully. I am getting my hair cut and having my first dress fitting this weekend.

OH yeah!!! Invitations went out today. WOW. This thing is getting close!

Hopefully March will end better than it began!

Knee

2007-02-21T10:54:00.000-05:00

I really have no other words right now but oops. Maybe blowing out my knee 3 months before my wedding wasn't the best idea. The doctor promised I would be able to walk by May.

So this post is short because I am in pain and quite pissed off.

Parties!

2007-02-05T17:01:00.000-05:00

We had our engagement party the last weekend of January. It was fabulous. Over and above any expectations that I had. On Thursday, my mother drove up from Blacksburg. She came and picked me up from work and we went to the Hilton Lounge and had drinks. An amazing "Your Dad's Cosmo", maker's mark turned into a martini. Yum. There were off and on snow showers going on and my brother's flight from Chicago kept getting delayed. Eventually he landed and we were able to go pick him up at Dulles.
That night, Justin, Douglas, mom and I went and ate at the yummy Italian Cafe. Mom and Douglas were staying at the Hilton, so they went back there for the night and planned on going to museums the next day.
Friday was normal, the same 4 as the night before met up and went to dinner at McCormick and Schmidt's where I had delicious Ahi Tuna barely seared. After dinner, Justin and I went back to our house to wait for Will, Becky and little Michael to arrive. They hadn't left until much later than planned and got there around 11:00, which ended up equaling a night of hell for all of us. Finally when we went to sleep, Mike slept for like an hour and then proceeded to cry and scream all night long. None of us slept more than like 60 minutes total.
In the morning I went to the gym to go swimming and thought I may fall asleep and drown.Mom and I decided to go to Udvar Hazy museum on Saturday. By the time we eventually made it out there (way too many errands that we tried to squeeze in), we decided that 2 hours was too little time and I was too exhausted, so we instead went on to Leesburg, did a little shopping at the outlet mall and then checked into our hotel rooms. My first thought was to sleep and I got a nice 1.5 hour nap in.
I went on to the party with mom, where emotions got a little thick on the road out thinking about Dad not being there, but we survived. The Gorman's house was AMAZING. They had gotten ice sculptures, one said Alan & Justin and then a VT underneath it. Then they had 5 blocks of ice (hundreds of pounds) that were there for the party to carve...incredible. There was all sorts of great food, but I stuck to the raw oysters, which I didn't think I could eat enough of. A majority of Justin's family was there and I had 2 of my brother's and my mom, but to make up for the missing people there were a TON of blacksburg friends there, which made the party so memorable. Friends of Justin and I's from college that lived in the DC area came out....we were so flattered.
We opened gifts, had AMAZING cake and received toast. It was fabulous and so perfect.The next morning we all met up and had brunch at the Gorman's Country Club and then took Douglas back to the airport.
It was such a perfect weekend. The only thoughts that I remained with at the end was how fast it all went.....and I know the wedding will go that faster or faster too. There are times that I wish I could put life on slow motion.

I had a bachelorette party Saturday night that was such a blast. I'll write a few more details and maybe include a few PG rated photos later on. Lets just put it this way...I watched the Super Bowl last night at our house without drinking a single beer....I just wouldn't have been able to handle it.

Busy Bee

2007-01-23T11:23:00.000-05:00

A lot has been done in the last 2 weeks. We went to Blacksburg two weekends ago and met with the owner of the bakery, the florist, pre-marital counseling and the caterer.

Getting everything together for the cake was a blast. We got to taste cakes and she was really on top of everything and we felt like she understood the look we were going for. The cake ended up costing a hundred more than we had expected, but I think we can handle that. We just need to keep in touch with her and we are getting a lot of things taken care of through email.

Then the florist. What a nightmare! This man was just an idiot. His flowers come recommended but the things we were asking him to do (quite simple in our minds) just was too difficult for him to grasp. He kept cutting off the conversation Justin and I were having with him and would ask my mom an entire irrelevant question. Justin handled that meeting great. I was so fed up with the guy I just wanted to leave. Finally we decided on basically just the bouquets, etc. and then loose cut flowers. That cannot be too tough and his price is great. I guess I can overlook his lack in mental capacity if the flowers look great for an excellent price.

Then on Sunday we went to pre-marital counseling. This went well. We had answered this nearly 400 questionnaire and we found out our 'compatibility' and then had to discuss. The meeting went well. Mildly awkward because of some of the questions you get asked by your minister, but nonetheless, she still said she would marry us, so I guess she still approved. :) We only have to meet with her one more time before the rehearsal.

Also on Sunday we met with the caterer. I had never met the caterer, but my mother knew her. This meeting was hands down our best meeting. She really made me feel at ease with her abilities. She also brought some new ideas to the table that we really liked. She also is going to handle hiring all the waitstaff and bartenders for us. She is suppose to get a final cost to us by the end of this week I believe. Hopefully it isn't outlandish because she really is wonderful and I don't think I have the time or effort to find a new caterer.

What else have we done...oh yes, the invitations. We got them all folded and organized, then on Sunday this past weekend, we went out to Justin's parent's house in Leesburg and it turned into a family event tying the ribbon onto the invitations. This helped SO much and we got to eat some tasty venison that Justin's little brother had shot. Now I just need to hand these off to my mother this weekend and she is handling the addressing and mailing.

Wow, this actually feels like things are falling into place!

We have our engagement party that Justin's parents are throwing for us this weekend. I am really excited about this. I am actually amazed how much of my side (both friends and family) are coming up for it. My brother, Will and his wife and child are coming, my mom, my brother Douglas in Chicago is coming, and then a whole slew of friends both in Blacksburg and up here are heading out for the party. The theme is winter wonderland. The Gorman's tell me they have some surprises up their sleeves, so I have no clue what all is going on. But they are known for throwing some pretty amazing parties, so I know that it will be a blast! All I know right now is that Justin has to stop and pick up some oysters on the way out too Leesburg. YUM!

My mom is suppose to arrive on Thursday...I also think my brother and sister in law are coming that day. Douglas flies in from Chicago on Thursday night. Mom and Douglas are at a hotel, everyone else is staying with Justin and I. Good thing we have a three bedroom house! Then on saturday we will head out to Leesburg. I'm pumped.

All else is good. At the moment I don't feel very stressed. Mildly anxious about this weekend and having so many guest at our house and so many friends/family in town. But other than that everything else is good....we are at the 4 month point in the countdown this Saturday...

Productive

2007-01-10T14:25:00.000-05:00

So I actually have gotten some things done that are on my to-do list. Always a good sense of accomplishment! Goals of last week completed:

-Get the loan (THANK GOD!)

-Go to the doctor for my hamstring (had an MRI yesterday...just waiting for the results now)

-Order bridesmaid dresses (Did it today. The biggest accomplishment on the list!)

-Mailed contract and check to the Huffman House...Looks like we have a place for this thing now

-Schedule meetings-done

This weekend we are going to Blacksburg to do a lot of wedding planning. Saturday we are meeting with the cake maker, the florist, talking with the lady doing my hair and going by the rehearsal dinner place to make sure everything is set. Then on Sunday we are doing our pre-marital counseling. We took this online test a few weeks ago. It consisted of something like 375 questions. We had to take it separately and then the computer goes and analyzes our answers to find out if we are compatible. My question is...what do you do if it comes back and says something like we are only 25% compatible. I am a bit anxious for this meeting. And the questions were so pointed like "have you, do you, or do you ever think future spouse has had a drinking problem" or "do you feel that your future spouse has a tendency for mood swings". Well I KNOW I can be moody, but what is that to say about the strength of our marriage? UGH! Also on Sunday we are going to meet with the caterer and hopefully finalize a menu and get some cost estimates. I feel like I am just shooting in the dark right now with the cost of a caterer, servers and a bartender. Hopefully the aim to have crab cakes and beef and little potatoes with a white-truffle sauce isn't going to send me into debt up to my eyeballs!

Aim this week....to make it through all these meetings without freaking out, getting mad at my mother and also to remember to ask all the necessary questions.

Oh yeah, and the invitations came in! They look great but are a little less assembled than we expected. So many evenings right now are going to assembling a bunch of folds of paper.

New Year's

2007-01-01T21:48:00.001-05:00

2007. I have spent a larger portion of the day laying on the floor watching football and napping that I expected. Last night we went to our friend Missy's apartment to ring in the new year. It was Justin, me, Missy and Joe....plus 2 cats that hated each other. It was low key with good eats and probably a little too much alcohol. But it was exactly what I was hoping for out of my New Year's Eve.

Goals of this week:

-Make New Year's Resolution list and put in safety deposit box for viewing in 2008.
-Begin to think about registering
-Get Justin to get the whole tux situation fixed
-Get the loan (god, we have been waiting since October for a secured loan, but that is a whole new post)
-Go to the doctor again for my hamstring
-Order bridesmaid dresses
-Mail contract and check for the Huffman House
-Schedule meetings with bakery, florist, pre-marriage counseling over MLK weekend.

To-Do list

2006-12-30T17:24:00.000-05:00

Went and got our Christmas gift today. A new bed! I cannot remember the last time that I had a new mattress that hadn't belonged to a sibling or was a cheesy dorm mattress or a really cheap college apartment mattress. Quite exciting.

When you go into the wedding section of Barnes and Noble there are about 5 million different wedding planner guides, each including a checklist. These list are essentially timelines and are included in wedding magazines, bridal shops, etc. and without a doubt are EXTREMELY intimidating. I have never been good at following timelines, why would planning our wedding be in anyway different. Everything I do is a bit quirky and and not in a. b. c. style, so we will see if I can pull off something of this scale in the same bizarre Alan fashion. Seeing when we set the date it was only 8 months out from the wedding day, I had this feeling of playing catch up from the beginning. So here is where we stand:

Things to do at least a year in advance
Tell friends and family: check
Set wedding date: check
Decide on location:check
Set wedding budget:check (basically)

10-12 months in advance:
Book photographer: check
Book videographer: NO
Hire who will preform the ceremony: check
Book florist: NO
Book baker: NO
Book DJ/Band: semi
Book caterer: NO
Order wedding dress: check

6-10 months in advance:
Hire musician for ceremony: NO
Choose attendants: check
Select tuxes: check
Select Bridesmaid dresses: check
Book rehearsal dinner location: check
Block hotel rooms for guest: check
Order invitations: check
Select programs: NO
Book honeymoon: check (except plane tickets)
Register: NO

3-6 months in advance:
Appointment for bridal portrait: NO
Select readers for ceremony: check
Order favors: NO
Buy centerpieces: NO
Order bridesmaid dresses: NO
Hire transportation: check
Pick out wedding bands: check
Design cake: NO
Send invitations for rehearsal dinner: NO
Get measurements from groomsmen: NO
First fitting: NO

And that is as far as I will go because I am suppose to be that far along at this point. YIKES! I think my blood pressure just sky rocketed by looking over that.

Justin and I went and gave blood today. Which actually went better than it typically does for me. So we did our good deed of the holidays. Hokies play tonight in the bowl game, but I have little motivation to go out but I think I am going to go to a house party with some friends and Justin is heading to the bar with the boys. Nice solo evening out.

Recap

2006-12-29T11:18:00.000-05:00

Quick, brief recap to bring everything up to date. Justin and I just decided that we would like to start keeping a blog of this experience...because well, it is an experience. Both the good, the bad, and the very very ugly. What continues to amaze both of us is how much time, money and emotions go into one day. Makes you wonder how a wedding ceremony came to this. The experience of getting married is one we both are excited about but having a party that puts this much pressure on you can get overwhelming.

We had been dating for around 2 years when Justin proposed. Justin and I got engaged on September 22, 2006 at a restaurant here in Falls Church. It was romantic and perfect. We met while in grad school at Virginia Tech and have already had a roller coaster of experience throughout our relationship, with unemployment, long distance, a death and just the realities of growing up and becoming an adult. Luckily we have chosen to stick together. We are thrilled to start our life together, it is simply the logistics behind the wedding that are making days tough. Justin handles it with a bit more grace than myself.