Engaging
30 November, 2007
Nostalgia???
I don't even know what to write about. I am just kind of confused and feel bizarre. For some unknown reasons I decided to get in touch with this guy that I knew when I was in high school, Matt. I haven't seen or talked to Matt I think in 10 years this New Years. In high school, there were a group of us, both Chatham girls and some guys that went to our brother school--Woodberry Forest that had this I guess 'online community' (back in the mid 90's the Internet was so different...there weren't really communities and this was before AOL instant messenger too I believe) so that we could talk to each other during study hall, at night, etc. We didn't have access to our phone during the day, during study hall or at night. And I think the woodberry boys had only a hall phone, so you had to call and hope to find the person you were looking for. Anyway, we had our own little thing going on online between us that didn't require phone calls and such. We were technologically advance. :)
There were probably about 30 of us max between the 2 schools and there were some random 'normal' kids that were friends of ours from home that we brought in for the same reason...easy of communication and ways to procrastinate.
This was pretty much my 'group' in high school. My social outlet to boys. It also had WAY WAY WAY too much drama. We were Melrose place drama but in high school. Definitely a lot of angry, back stabbing, shameful hookups, etc.
When I talked to Matt yesterday, I talked about how I hadn't talked/seen most everyone in almost 10 years, with the exception of Mari, Andrew and Parker. Through the wonders of Facebook we found quite a few people. And let me be petty: Something that pisses me off is that there are definitely people in there that were not part of our group. They went to college with Matt and must have been pathetic and didn't have any friends and wanted to be part of some 'lame' high school group. So I am still bitter those people are around. I don't care to talk to them and they were the reason I distanced myself from this group....well....one of the reasons.
Then Matt led me to www.archive.org. Holy crap! I found quite a few of my old journal entries, writings, pictures, etc. It was incredible. I couldn't find all of them. I REALLY wish I could find journal entries from 1998. The real drama year and the year I guess I had my first 'real' boyfriend. I would just love to read those. Anyway, I posted up the ones that I found.
Wow was I an angry teenager.
LINK:
Old Journal Writings
28 November, 2007
Little Plastic CastlesWork is definitely slow. It almost feels as slow as last week. Bizarre. I guess I should be happy that I am at least out of the house. I have been back at work now for 2 weeks. Part of me almost misses my daily boredom and mid afternoon nap. But my office laid off a few people today, so I am glad I am back in the office proving that I work and I am not dispensable.
Thanksgiving was good. It was weird not being at my own house. That part will take some getting use to. The thing that REALLY bothered me was that no one talked to me about anything other than my knee. For FOUR DAYS STRAIGHT. Some people even reverted to repeating the conversation. I mean, am I that unintelligent or boring that people didn't really want to put forth any effort to have me join in on a conversation. Having Justin's little brother and sister around helped the most. They could careless about the knee. Needless to say....there were some tears on the ride home just because I had gotten so miserable.
We did go look at some houses that Justin's dad is building out in Haymarket. They were gorgeous. We have no idea if we can even dream of affording these, even with a family discount.
I am having a nostalgic day. Typically when I have these, it is of Blacksburg and of grad school. But today is of high school, which NEVER happens to me. There are a lot of people that I was really close to in high school that I haven't talked to years. I just realized that my little high school boyfriend (who is now married with child), I haven't talked to or even seen since 1998. Just seems crazy. Deepdown though, I still feel like a few of these people I still know. I knew them well enough that I cannot fathom their personalities changes so much that they would be any different. I feel like I am the same person pretty much. There are definitely a few people that I would love to get to see.
Okay, I am starving. need to seek out some afternoon snack.
21 November, 2007
Need to be more ThankfulNothing much going on with me. Still in the cast. I have been going into work for the last week. That part is nice to finally get out of the house but being on crutches is really getting to me. I am either miserable because I am unable to go anywhere or I am stuck going some where I don't want to go or I feel like I am forcing people to do things out of the way for me. It really sucks feeling like an inconvenience. I am just getting annoyed that i cannot do anything and I am just stuck sitting some where and I cannot drive or go any where by myself. I miss my personal time!
Hopefully I can keep my head straight over Thanksgiving. I am going to Justin's family. Which is good because I don't do too well in the car but I hope I am not just stuck sitting some where for the next 4 days. I don't want to be bored while everyone else has fun. I know I have plenty to be thankful for and that I shouldn't be complaining about things. But I just wish I had my health right now.
blah.
14 November, 2007
Misery.Update (5:13PM)
Went to the doctor and they put me in a new cast. Apparently my ligament has loosened up a lot. It is already to the point of my normal knee and this knee has been confined to a cast ever since surgery, so it probably will on stretch out more after I get out of the cast. The doctor put me in a cast for another 3 weeks. And after that, if it isn't better, well apparently I am just screwed and will never run, etc. again.Original message (10:45AM)
I'm miserable. I am so sick of my house and not being normal. It has only been 3 weeks since I had the surgery and it honestly feels like 6 months. I went to the doctor yesterday and they took off the cast only to find out it hadn't healed as much as the doctor would have liked. He wanted to put me back in the cast but I pleaded to just be in a non-hinged immobilizer. Well I got home and I started getting so scared by the immobilizer. I just didn't feel as secure and I really do not want to run any risk that I don't heal perfectly. So I am going back in this afternoon to get the cast put back on.
I didn't sleep at all last night, so I am exhausted. And I am going to go into the office after the doctor's appointment. I just cannot be at home any longer. My work may kill me. And I am just feeling so worthless. I feel guilty what I am doing to Justin. I know coming home for lunch or working from home or not being able to go to Richmond like his work wants must be impacting his career too. I really don't want to be negatively affecting his work too.
Blah. I am just miserable.
06 November, 2007
Just plain bored.I week left in the cast. So bored. I have been watching all of the first season of Ugly Betty. I had never watched this before but it is pretty entertaining. I have been doing work too. I think I may go into my office for a few hours yesterday just for a change of pace.
Last night Missy came and took me out to dinner. We did Thai. It was good and it was SO nice to get out of the house and to have girl talk. This weekend was slow...boring. Just Justin and I sitting around the house. Friday night we did at least go out to dinner with some friends in the district.
Okay, nothing new going on. Heading to Blacksburg on friday. I cannot wait!!!
And need to go vote this evening when Justin gets home!
01 November, 2007
I would have gotten Maroon and Orange if they had it...
I finally came off my painkillers completely. Last night was the first time I didn't take any during the night. I am just on a lot of Tylenol. Ugh, this surgery has been SO much worse than last time, but I guess that is just because it was so much more invasive.
I went to the doctor on Tuesday and they took the last cast off and took my stitches out. That luckily hurt MUCH less than last time. Also, I found out that I had 2 new holes/incisions on the left/outside part of my knee. I didn't expect those, but apparently they have to do those to get the screws through and the ligament straight, whatever. Then they put me in a new cast. My doctor attempted to put me into a red and blue cast for Boston or draw a 'B' on my cast. My Yankee side nearly had a heart attach. The cast goes from my ankle up to my thigh. This one is MUCH MUCH worse than the cast last week. That one at least had a little give. This one is so solid. At least i now have a cast people can sign. It is so tough to sit and do anything because my leg just sticks straight out, I can't even fit in Justin's truck. And the bathroom is a whole nother experience.
Tonight Tech plays again. Hopefully it'll go better than last week!!! Some Tech friends are coming over to watch the game and bringing us some food. Our friends and family have been awesome. Some one has come over and brought us food every night since surgery except 1 night, and that night we just had one of the tons of frozen meals that Justin's mom made for us. And tomorrow Jason and Holly are coming down from Baltimore to see us. They were with us the day the whole knee accident occurred, so they get to see this through full circle.
Okay, my house is a mess and people are coming over and I cannot clean up. UGH! This is driving me nuts. But I did get to take my first shower today. It was interesting. 2 plastic bags, 1 lawn leaves plastic bag and a lot of tape later, I am clean! I just wish I could be in there long enough to shave my other leg. It is getting out of control. Gross!
Wishing my husband was home to clean!! And to maybe get me a glass of wine because I deserve it now that i'm off the pain meds.
Life is boring when you are stuck at home all day in a full leg cast.
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Name::F.C.G
From::Falls Church, Virginia, United States
A twentysomething who is quite clueless on lots of aspects of life, especially being a newlywed.
View my complete profile
About Me
Name::F.C.G
From::Falls Church, Virginia, United States
A twentysomething who is quite clueless on lots of aspects of life, especially being a newlywed.
View my complete profile
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