Engaging
27 October, 2007
Ignore poor grammar or spelling errors due to pain meds.
Today so far has been my best day, but then again it is only 11AM. The last 12 hours have been really good. Yesterday was terrible!! The last few days have been really bad. This surgery has been much worse than last time. Just the pain is so much worse. The pain killers never take it away, just slightly numb it. And then I started getting very sick to my stomach. That went on for awhile. Thursday night was the worst night so far, I had to call Justin in the middle of the night to come take care of me, and then I slept most of Friday away because I felt so badly. Then I started running a temperature of 100.9. If it went up to 101.0 then I would have to go back to the hospital, so then we had to start watching that.
Finally, I got Justin to get me some gatorade and I was taking little sips and finally I started feeling better. I didn't really eat much last night but really felt better. I made it through last night just fine sleeping. Woke up a few times but felt okay. The weird part is that when I wake up in the middle of the night it takes me about 2-3 minutes to figure out where I am....and I am having the STRANGEST dreams. I'll be happy to get off these pills.
And I got to have my hair washed today. and clean sheets! Very exciting day! Hopefully tomorrow will be even better and I'll be able to get up and move around in no time!
25 October, 2007
Scale of 1-10, I am about an 8. Surgery sucks.Surgery was yesterday. It went well. I got home around 8PM last night. I have been pretty nauseous ever since I woke up from surgery. The pain wasn't too bad during the night but it has been pretty insane all day today. I guess that is just the pain killers they gave me through my IV wearing off. The cast is HUGE. and weighs a ton. Both the cool and worst part of the cast is that it has this 1 inch space on the top of my leg all the way down, this is so I can still ice my knee and also so that they can get the stitches out next week. But this means that the fiberglass is covered with gauze, so no signing my cast. Boo! I was looking forward to getting my cast signed.
I'll post pictures if I feel well enough in the next few days. I think i'll be very bedridden through the weekend. Hopefully i'll be able to shower and such by Sunday. Gross! okay. Time for some more painkillers and some diet ginger ale.
Thank god my mother is here to take care of me.
Oh yeah, GO HOKIES!
19 October, 2007
It Doesn't Feel Much Like FallI quit being able to sleep last night. My stomach has started hurting and the anxiety has set in. Pregnant women start 'nesting' right before the baby is born, cleaning up, getting things ready, etc. Well I have definitely started nesting. Last night I cleaned the entire house, got rid of all the clutter and paperwork. So many bags of trash! Washed all the towels, rugs, sheets, etc. Got out office all organized and things to take to Goodwill. Cleaned out the fridge, etc. Then this morning (finally it was morning, I didn't sleep AT ALL!) I even scrubbed down the shower...with an old toothbrush to make sure it was extra shiny. I am never this OCD, but I can't help it. I just don't feel like I can get prepared enough.
I did go over to the neighbors and take him some wine, cheese and crackers because we owe him a dinner and none of our schedules seem to match right now. We owe him dinner because he cut both out hairs a few weeks ago. He is a professional hairdresser and works at this fabulous salon that I could never afford. So I talked to him for a little bit and he told me that he will come over while I am stuck at home in bed and wash my hair, give me a trim, maybe even some highlights. I am excited. Gives me something to look forward to. Especially having a neighbor that doesn't work a normal 9-5 job, so I know he can come over at random times. He was a nurse prior to becoming a hairdresser and has started working both jobs as of lately, so I also like knowing there is a registered nurse next door. I think outside of my mom, he would be the only other person I would feel comfortable having wash my hair while I am stuck in bed.
Justin comes home tonight though!! I am excited. I am going to make us dinner at home and have a chill, lowkey night, seeing I didn't sleep last night and I know he is exhausted. Tomorrow is wine tasting and going to look at the leaves changing. Sunday and monday, I need to really get things together. Mom comes on Tuesday and then D-Day (or maybe it should be S-DAY) is on Wednesday.
Happy it's Friday! But now I have a 3 hour, all company meeting. And they aren't serving lunch. It is from 11AM-2PM. I'll want to eat my shirt by the time I leave this meeting!
15 October, 2007
Tis Monday.This is my last full week at work for awhile. I feel like I have so much preperation that i need to do. clean the house, do laundry, pay bills, go to the bank, etc. It is a tad bit overwhelming.
And no I have the issue of dealing with getting a dead persons tissues. That part doesn't bother me. What does bother me is that someone had died or will die in the next 10 days and I'll get part of them. Despite never knowing who this person is, their family is/will be sad. It is such an odd concept for me to grasp--that I will get renewed health over someone else dying. Just bizarre. Makes me thankful I've been an organ donor all these years, I would feel pretty hypocritical if I wasn't.
Justin is in Richmond for the week for work, so boring and slow week. Means I can get things done to prepare for the imprisonment. Taking my little sister-in-law out to dinner tonight though (she's a senior in high school) so I am looking forward to that.
12 October, 2007
Want to catch up on missed sleep.My phone died this morning. I'm bummed, which also meant I lost all the stuff in my phone. All my phone numbers I had backed up on my palm, so no big deal. But i'm upset I lost my photos and ring tones. Cheesy I know. And I am very bitter that it took me until I got home to notice I didn't have VZNavigator on there anymore. So I need to figure out how to get this reinstalled, etc. Just will take time and effort that I don't really feel like expending on Verizon.
It is Friday and I've worked my little tushy off this week. The wall was hit about 25 minutes ago and I am just incapable of making logical decisions anymore.
Justin and I are going to pick up a TV for the guest bedroom today. I figured if my mom was nice enough to come stay with me again, the least I could do is finally get a tv for that room after there have been request.
Then I think it'll just be a low key night, movie night. We got Knocked up on DVD, so I'm excited to finally see it!
And I am just getting things ready for my 1 month inprisonment. Target type, new PJs, cleaning the house, switching from Summer to Winter wardrobes, etc.
I need a nap and my knee is KILLING me, so no gym today.
blah......
08 October, 2007
Need to de-stress.I can't write anything because all I am thinking about is my surgery. It is wearing down upon me.
This weekend was a good weekend except for getting no sleep. Friday night, we went and had sushi and then got dessert. That was the end of the night. I started to get a terrible migraine. I woke up Saturday morning feeling like death. We went to a beer fest in Shirlington. Dave and Joe met us there. I felt like ass the whole time, so I didn't really drink much. Then we went to this bar here in Falls Church to watch the game. It was actually a really great place to watch it. It wasn't very crowded, the prices were good and there was real food. I was exhausted after the game. But thank god we looked decent! I went home and all the boys went out. They all straggled into the house throughout the night, so I didn't sleep too well.
Sunday, we went to Leesburg for the day. I went shopping with my sister in law and my mother in law. I got a dress for the wedding this weekend and then a few skirts, seeing I'll be living in skirts for awhile. I also found some really cute nightgowns, which I always thought I'd die before I'd own (anything that may be worn by my mother is not okay with me). We ate dinner out at the Gorman's and headed home.
I cannot stop thinking about all the things I need to do. I sent out a mass email to all my local friends to let them know that Justin and I would love (are desperate) for people to come by for those weeks I am stuck at home. Also I am thinking about a bunch of things I need to get done, ways to plan, clean the house, get tons of chores done...etc.
blah. Trying to not obsess.
05 October, 2007
Tears.I am so mad I can barely focus, much less do any work right now. So I went to do the doctor and I knew it would be a lose-lose visit. Boy, I had no idea what a lose-lose situation really was. ABSOLUTLY NO IDEA. Went to the doctor and he agreed that it had lossened back up and that we would need surgery to fix it. okay, i had accepted that. and he was going to use a cadaver ligament. okay, i can handle that. and that I will be casted up to my thigh for 3 weeks-1 month. OH MY DEAR GOD!
That thought had never crossed my mind. I don't know how I can handle that or any of this. This is INSANE. I am so mad. This means my trip to Austin, cancelled. Football games, well that will be fun. I don't even know if I can fit in a car! And we have Mike Mitchell's wedding 3 days after surgery. I don't know if i'll be able to go. That will be a game time decision.
I am not happy and cannot focus at all right now. The only comfort I get is that A.) I should be all better after this and B.) the cast should be gone by Thanksgiving.
How did one split second injury turn into a year long disaster?!
04 October, 2007
Homeward Bound!I go home today. I am so excited. I went to bed at like 9:30 last night so that today would come sooner. I am leaving here around noon and driving up to Baltimore for a fundraiser event with Jason and Holly. Holly has been organizing this for needy children, so I figured the least I could do was to go show my support. Justin isn't going with me, which I wish he was because I feel like I haven't seen him in ages. I cannot wait for a low key weekend. Saturday Tech plays Clemson so I am sure we will watch that game with all the guys and then Sunday we are going out to his parent's house or out on their boat. We haven't seen them in at least a month.
Sigh. This just hasn't been a fun week at all. I don't feel like I have gotten to relax or enjoy myself at all. Even those little things in life (like watching shameful, brainless MTV reality TV shows) has been unattainable. I cannot wait to get back into a normal routine. To be able to do laundry when I want, not trying to cram as much in as quickly as I can because I'll be leaving again soon. I can unpack my toiletry bag! I just hope I am back at home for awhile and get to get bored with Falls Church.
Doctor's appointment in the morning. It is a lose-lose situation. Either I am stuck with my knee as it is or I am back in surgery. I personally would like to take the short term pain of surgery if it means I can be normal for the rest of my life. Not being able to go swim in the ocean, play golf, being able to run around with my (when I have them) children are all just options I am willing to accept.
03 October, 2007
Today is not a happy hump day.I want to be at home so badly right now. I have no desire to be on travel anymore. I was fine on Monday and yesterday went quickly which was good. Then I laid down to go to bed last night and I just really wanted to be in my own bed with Justin. That carried over to this morning and I just woke up with this overwhelming longing to be at home. I get to head home tomorrow, so that gives me something to look forward to. I do have to drive all the way to Baltimore tomorrow from here to go to a charity event with Jason and Holly. Then home. It will be a long day. But then it is friday, I have a doctor's appointment in the morning. And I am thinking (praying) that Monday is a holiday for my office.
I am just sad/depressed/emotional and want to be at my own house, on my own schedule, eating my own normal food. I am sick of living out of restaurants attempting to select the most healthy thing that I can find on the menu or just giving up and going to subway. And the worst part is that I shouldn't even be here. I haven't gotten my security clearance so I cannot log onto their system, so all I am doing is my own normal work through VPN into my office. So far, there is absolutly no reason that I am NC. Maybe my clearance will come through today...maybe not, maybe this whole week is a waste of my time.
Blah.
01 October, 2007
Feels like Fall
Back in Raleigh.
I did have a fabulous weekend though. On Thursday, my brother and his wife had their second child, a little girl. They named her Grace, which I really like. Justin and I decided to leave early on Friday so we could get into town before the hospital quit allowing visitors. She was so teeny! We hung out with them in the hospital for awhile and then left and did a few errands. Then we headed downtown because everyone wanted to meet up at TOTS. Then Allie arrived in town and the evening really began! We had such a great time Friday night. It was Allie and I and then a crew of boys--Justin, Mark, Joe, Dave, Ryan, Scott and Zach. They were wild. I chose to be DD which I am really glad I did. We ended not staying out all that late because of the long day to come.
Saturday we got up too early for my body (7:00 and like 40 degrees). Headed to the tailgate by 9. Justin and I decorated the tailgate with It's a Girl and pink for my brother (he came but obviously Becky and Grace didn't make it). Headed into the game and they had a Stealth bomber fly over. It was insane. Allie was so excited to get to go to her first real football game (she went to Washington and Lee). Then after the game the fun began. We stayed at our tailgate spot until 7 that night. Everyone else cleared out and there were about 2+ cases of beer left and a handle of cheer three olives vodka (yuck) left. So the boys were not allowing that to go to waste, so the field day/beer olympics began. Lots of foot races, relay races and beer chugging later.... (I only got to drink and referree because of the knee) and then the crew of us headed down town. Allie was QUITE intoxicated at this point (she didn't train since she was 18 for days like these) and so we got food and then it was determined that it was time for Allie to head home. So we were home by like 9PM. I was okay with that, I was EXHAUSTED.
Yesterday was lowkey, hung out with the little baby, justin headed home to Falls Church and Mom and I got my rental car. Headed down to Raleigh this morning and have been working at USPS all day. I am only here until Thursday though. woohoo! And this weekend is free. No travel. I am SO excited. I do have a doctor's appointment Friday morning though. My knee is getting worse and quickly. It feels to me about the same as it did before surgery. I am worried. For so many reasons. I know it can't support me (it keeps slipping out) but I am worried my doctor will just say oh well, that's what you get. I am okay if I can never compete again...i can handle that. But just the idea I cannot ever run/jog if I had to upsets me and then the thought that when we have kids that I would never be able to play around with them really bothers me. I am terrified of surgery again but I am even more scared of thinking I could never play/move around like normal again.
About This Blog
![]()
Name::F.C.G
From::Falls Church, Virginia, United States
A twentysomething who is quite clueless on lots of aspects of life, especially being a newlywed.
View my complete profile
About Me
Name::F.C.G
From::Falls Church, Virginia, United States
A twentysomething who is quite clueless on lots of aspects of life, especially being a newlywed.
View my complete profile
Recent Entries
Archives
Links
Credits